Tag Archives: surgery

It Turned Out OK Before

Got my test results back today from my thyroid, kidneys and liver, and everything was normal. So that means my doctor was right in thinking my thyroid is not the issue with why my neck is “puffy” on one side. The nurse who called me reiterated that the doctor wants me to see a specialist and asked if he had already given me referrals, which he had. So I went ahead and made an appointment with a specialist I saw a couple of years ago who happened to be on the list of referrals. I’m going in next week.

It does concern me a tad that the problem isn’t as “simple” as a thyroid problem that can be resolved with medication, but I’m not particularly worried right now because today has been a fairly good day. I’m not thinking about all the possibilities. I’ll just have to wait and see what happens when I see the specialist.

Even so…my mother asked me after my doctor’s appointment last week if I was worried, and I said no. She should know better than that. When I was in the hospital in 2010 for nearly a week having my liver treated and then having surgery, I was never scared. When I had my surgery, I went to the emergency room first and just walked up to the desk and told the person there what was wrong. And he was like, “How do you know?” I shrugged and said, “I’ve been here before for this.” I should have had surgery a long time before I did, and I think that played a role in my liver getting infected. But telling him I’d been there before for the same thing got me seen immediately, unlike the first times I’d been there. I was first actually wondering if they’d let me go so I could go to work that evening (which was why I waited so long to have surgery). But then I found out about the liver infection and there was nothing I could do but let them admit me to the hospital.

It’s a good thing I went to the emergency room of my own free will or else I wouldn’t have known about the liver infection. I distinctly remember looking in the mirror that day to check for jaundice, which was on a checklist I’d been given months prior by a surgeon I’d seen and which would alert me that I’d need to go to the emergency room for emergency surgery. I didn’t see anything wrong but just had been in pain for 12+ hours and was tired of it.

Mainly, that experience was annoying and everything leading up to it was just physically painful. In the hospital, the staff was great, but they wouldn’t leave me alone. They also had me hooked up to so much crap that even before the surgery it was tough to just go to the restroom. And every time I tried, someone would rush into my room because they were alerted that I moved. I couldn’t sleep, either, for nurses coming in the middle of the night to give me medication and draw blood.

After the surgery, it was a good thing I wasn’t in pain (except for immediately after the surgery was over) because the painkillers they were giving me through the IV made me ill. They switched up the painkillers when I told them this, and they still made me sick. So I just quit pushing the button to receive any doses through the IV. Painkillers never made me sick on any of my trips to the emergency room or with any of the prescriptions they gave me, so maybe it was just the way it was being administered to me. Anyway, so I had the worst headache ever while I was in the hospital because of that, and all the nurses would give me was Tylenol because of my liver…which means my headache never went away.

So, yeah…annoying, but not scary. I think everyone I told or who knew I was in the hospital was more scared than I was.

So far, my mother seems not to be worried, and that’s what’s amazing. I’ll have to ask her how she feels. For my part, though, the news today was just not exactly what I wanted to hear, which I know sounds weird considering everything was “normal.” But that just means this isn’t over, and now I’m possibly waiting to hear something worse in a couple of weeks.

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Does Everyone Have One? My Shallow Thing

This morning, I realized that probably everyone on this earth has a shallow thing. A shallow thing is something about your physical self that you’d spend quite a bit of time and/or money working on just to increase your happiness. It might not even be anything anyone else has an issue with when it comes to your physical appearance. Oftentimes, it’s not. It’s just something that you don’t like and would rather change.

Common shallow things:

-A lot of women have issues with their breast size and either opt for breast augmentation or seriously consider it

-Hair coloring

-Acne treatments

-Trying to lose weight (although some would argue this is more of a health issue)

Now, I actually can relate to all the above-listed shallow things in some way, but none of these is quite my biggest shallow thing.

As far as breast size, I’m the opposite of some women. I have wanted to get a breast reduction at times. I used to really want one, but I have died down about that quite a bit. I probably would not spend money on surgery unless it became more like a health issue.

Coloring my hair is a very mild desire of mine. I’ve never done it, and I’m not sure I ever will.

Both of my sisters have serious acne issues. One of them has had these issues ever since she had chicken pox as a kid, so she grew up with serious acne and had to deal with that socially. My other sister, I’d say, has acne issues because of stress and hormones. She grew up with really nice skin. I have not had smooth skin since becoming a teenager, and I probably never will. I don’t have big acne problems, but you just can’t run your fingers over my face and feel nothing but smoothness. I tend to have what my mother calls “fine bumps.” They are really, really, really small bumps that seem to be right beneath the surface. I have not figured out how to get rid of these, but I am generally fine as long as there are not pimples, scars and dark spots.

Weight…ah. This should probably be my big shallow thing. It’s not, though. I could definitely write a separate post all about this issue. I guess all I can tell you right now is I pretty much never feel bad about my weight. I would like to lose some weight. I would like to have an easier time shopping for clothes, especially shirts (again, those damn big breasts and just general top heaviness). I do like to work out, depending on what it is, but I don’t look at working out as only–and maybe not even mainly–being about losing weight and being healthy (which, I hate how people act as if weight and health are inseparable/the same thing–again, a separate post).

So…the one thing I’m willing to open up my bank account and pour money out to fix and, thus, feel better about myself, regardless of what most people have to say?

My teeth.

I have wanted Invisalign for years…probably ever since I first saw the commercials on TV. I have just never really been able to afford it. I am now getting to a point where I can, if I’m not already there. The only thing is I’m supposed to be saving money to move. I also don’t have a car, and it’d be helpful to get one. It also just doesn’t, to me, make a lot of sense to get money and immediately spend it, especially since I have student loans. Still, money seems to burn a hole in my pocket. When I feel that I have plenty of it, I start coming up with all these things I want to get and I get them. Those things are usually tech gadgets. But now, especially since I have dental insurance through work, I’m starting to think more seriously about pursuing Invisalign.

Other than needing to save money to move, there’s another issue–working full time. I read a bit about getting Invisalign, and it just seems kind of like you have to visit the orthodontist a little too frequently. I just don’t know how I’d work this with a job. I don’t believe in telling employers, “I have to leave early,” “I’ll be late” or “I need to take a long lunch.” I did also just get this job not that long ago.

To back up…

I was the kid who needed braces but never got them. I don’t know that braces, back then, could have fixed everything. Basically, my top teeth are the issue. I have an overbite and a gap, and the teeth on one side of the gap stick out more than the teeth on the other side do. I’m not extremely, extremely self-conscious about this, but when I do think about it it’s the kind of thing I’d have no trouble putting down thousands to fix. I would not do it for my breasts, acne or weight, but I’d do it for this. I can totally see going into an ortho’s office and his telling me, “Oh, yeah, this will be $5000, and then there will be an extra $500 for this and an extra $250 for this” and I’m just like, “Oh, okay. Whatever.”

Not totally sure why. People can be asses about teeth, but people are definitely more so asses about weight–especially now when they can kind of cloak their comments about people’s weight in terms of “oh, it’s about health/taking care of yourself” when it’s often not (it’s about you not liking what you see in someone else). But as I said before, for me, it’s not about other people. If it were, then, surely, I’d care more about my weight than about this. It’s kind of like a physical pet peeve. I had someone whom I really liked tell me that she thinks gaps are sexy, and if we were happily married and I could get Invisalign to get rid of it I still would. With your shallow thing, other people just usually are not the point, even if they think the total opposite about your shallow thing than you do and view it positively when you don’t.

The thing is I didn’t realize I had this physical thing that I’d be willing to spend either a lot of time or a lot of money on to make it “right” until this morning. As I said, I’d wanted Invisalign for years. But it never clicked with me before that this was my “breast augmentation” or my “plastic surgery.” I used to think something was wrong with people who went out and had cosmetic surgery or botox, and now I have to rethink that.

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