A few months ago I remember reading, I think, a blog post online somewhere, and the writer basically explained how she dumped this guy because he didn’t like to read. I don’t really remember thinking much one way or the other about the post. I read the comments, and there were people who understood where she was coming from. I don’t really remember anyone commenting that it was a ridiculous thing for her to do. Reading was very important to her, and she just couldn’t imagine being with someone who didn’t share the value of reading.
I like to read, too, but it’s not one of my deal breakers.
But apparently…being a bad writer is.
I know I mentioned in one of my last posts that I got this woman’s contact information and sent her an email. We emailed back and forth for a little bit–I think we exchanged three or so emails and never made it to the phone. Gawd, she just did every single thing I hate when it comes to writing.
I noticed with the first email she sent me, but I tried hard to overlook it. I wanted to give her a chance, but I also didn’t want to be ridiculous or snobby. It was a short email with a couple of spelling errors, a ton of grammar errors and “how r u” type of writing, as well as a couple of typical boring questions. I thought to myself, “Okay, maybe she wrote it on her cell phone…it’s hard to write well over those things.” That’s really what it reminded me of–either that or she was rushing. It couldn’t be that she was simply a writing-challenged moron–not after the way she talked and talked about looking for intelligence and good conversations, and about how educated she was.
Now, I don’t want anyone to think I sit and “grade” what people send me, what I read on the internet or even what you leave in the comments section here. I also don’t want anyone to think that I view my own writing as perfect. Writing can’t be perfect all the time, so I can understand some misspelled words and some grammar errors. I really do hate short emails, though. It makes me feel as if the person writing me is not putting effort into the email or as if that person is disinterested. I am also one of those people who hates small talk, and…well, age/sex/location and variations thereof is just about the online equivalent of that. If you’re intelligent and like good conversations, why not demonstrate that, you know? And using letters in place of full words is never okay with me (with few exceptions, such as “OK”), not even when texting me.
In short, she didn’t come across as engaged or that intelligent, and it’s hard to respond to what appears to be a lack of engagement as it is. But with her not coming off as too bright, it made me not particularly want to respond because I only welcome intelligent people into my life. I can’t consider dating someone who is not very intelligent. So it wasn’t hard for me to wait a while before responding to her email.
Still, I did write her an engaged response that was longer than what she’d written to me (nothing like my blog posts, so don’t freak out!). But her next email to me was just like her first one, and I was just kind of like…”Okay…I don’t know if I can take this,” hahaha. I mean, for me, it’s as if she’s assaulting my eyeballs. And how can you date someone if reading her emails and texts is visually painful? For me, it’s just a sign that she is not as intelligent as she was bragging that she is.
I think it might have been the same for the woman who dumped her boyfriend who doesn’t like to read. A funny thing about that is one day I was at work last week…I was sitting in the dining area, and there was a woman sitting in one of the booths in front of me, reading. And this black chick walked by and said to the woman in the booth, “I don’t like to read.” OMG (see what I did there?), I was calling this b!tch all kinds of “dumb bitch”es in my head. I was partially upset that she was black and announced this to a white woman. I mean, people already think black people are stupid, and now you just let this white woman know that you are, indeed, stupid. And you know black people are not judged individually.
I tried to calm myself by telling myself that most people nowadays don’t like to read, to the point where that’s normal and liking to read is practically nerdy. That doesn’t mean they’re not a bunch of dumb fucks, though. You don’t like to read? Seriously, you have to read everywhere. It’s an essential part of life, much more so than math (and yes, I know you have to count out change), even if not a hobby. Plus, there are so many different types of subjects to read–how can there be nothing you like to read? That’s why saying you don’t like to read sounds dumb. Sorry if I’m offending anyone, but that’s seriously my viewpoint–people who don’t like to read, can’t read and/or can’t write are…dumb…fucks, if for no other reason than that a lot of them proudly announce that they don’t like to read. Don’t go around announcing that schitt to people.
And to be fair, it’s not as if I sit around reading novels or literary works every week. But it’s not because I don’t like to. I love to read and, in fact, have been wanting some good books to read for quite some time now. I’ve read a couple of things recently, but I don’t count those because they were so…well, let me put it this way about one of the “books” I read. I wrote a review on it, saying that if it were ever made into a movie it’d be a porno flick (I didn’t know this when I started reading the damn thing, I promise). I am just struggling to find a good read, in part because I am in the mood to read what, I do not quite know.
So, I suppose that maybe not liking to read could be a deal breaker for me after all, just like crappy writing is. It’s a reflection of the larger picture, I think, which is the ability to discuss any and all things with some knowledge…not to mention, as far as writing, what used to be required to actually earn a high school diploma (clearly it’s not required now, with as poorly as young Americans write today).
I must confess–I also had to ask myself if maybe I was eager to ditch this writing-challenged chick because I’m still not over my “ex.” And then I thought about all of my “friends” and how much writing has meant to me my whole life. I don’t have one friend who sucks at writing, even the ones whose intelligence I sometimes underestimate. Every single last one of them can put together an email that reflects their intelligence. I think all of my girlfriends have also been able to write fairly well, even the one I had who only had a high school education. Again, the good ole days when they used to teach kids how to write correctly in high school–she would now be about 33 years old, I think…although Email Chick was about 29. But she did attend a garbage high school in my area, so maybe that explains it.
I also thought about this conversation my “ex” and I had one time when this other chick was interested in her. She was one of those “how r u” type of chicks. My “ex,” more or less, said to me, “When I look at this chick’s texts, it reminds me of why I like you.” To be quite honest…ditto right now. But that’s still in the past, and I am accepting that. There are plenty of other chicks out there who know how to not torture the English language and the written word. I know that. But Email Chick is not one of them.