Tag Archives: ncaa tournament

I Pissed Her Off

Yeah, so it has been a while. I got kind of caught up with college basketball, as my alma mater actually did end up making it to the Final Four and playing for a national championship after I lost all hope for that happening some time back in February, I believe. I didn’t go down to Atlanta to see it, which was my plan before I stopped believing in my team, but I also don’t regret it. I looked at the cost of the trip (tickets to the games, plane trip, hotel), and it was just more money than I wanted to spend. Plus, when my school lost the championship game it pissed me off/depressed me enough to be glad I didn’t spend all that money to see it live. I’m so proud of Michigan for making it so far, but it still hurt(s) and I would have been livid if I spent $1500+ (and it was close to $1500 before the Tournament, so no telling how much it would have been during) to watch Michigan give up a nice lead and to watch Louisville carve up Michigan’s defense.

My entire family watched the game from various parts of the US, including members of my family who never watch Michigan play, just because it was my school playing for a national title, so that was great. On the positive, we did pick up national titles in Swimming, Men’s Gymnastics and Cheerleading over the last few weeks. 😉 We just could have had three national championships in about a week’s time if we’d won that bball one!

I also recently started taking a new programming class, so that’s keeping me a little busy after basketball, as is supporting Michigan softball. That’s the other good thing about my not spending all that money to go to ATL and the NCAA Tournament–I had to drop money on a new Macbook Pro for my class, in addition to the enrollment fee for the class. Typing on it right now! Rarely have I taken classes where I couldn’t wait to do the work, but pretty much all IT-related classes I take are like that. I wish all the lessons for this class were already out–I’d probably be done by now, and I’m only a week into the class.

Now that you’re caught up on some non-work-related things, I’ve got a work/love life cross for you.

About a month or two ago, I wrote about this lady at work whom I noticed eyeballing me a couple of times in the dining area at work. I also wrote several posts that related to my “ex-girlfriend.” Well, I am over my “ex-girlfriend.” I kind of realized some time during the NCAA Tournament, towards the end of it, that I really wasn’t thinking of her the same way anymore and that if I found out she has a girlfriend it wouldn’t really bother me. It’s more so like I miss companionship now. And when you miss companionship, not any companionship will do. Some forms are more fulfilling than others, and it’s just hard for me to find fulfilling friendships, relationships, etc. You really have to find someone with whom you click. I mean, there is a chick at work who is, in a way, trying to make me be her friend. And that’s okay, I guess, but…there are just people with whom you really, really fit. That’s what I miss.

Anyway, I bring this up to say, first of all, that I am still not sure that what I actually want or need is a date or another relationship. I definitely could use friends who are not guys, and right now my support system is guys and that’s in a work-related capacity. We have a great time talking schitt about Lazy Tech and annoying people who contact tech support and about our jobs and about how other people at work don’t do schitt while we do all the work…even talking about sports. But I do notice more and more that there are many attractive women where I work.

Second…well, I got an email today at work. Now, for the most part, I am not supposed to receive emails to my personal email account at work. We have a tech support inbox, so that’s where my emails are supposed to go. Still, people who work for my company do email me directly from time to time for work-related reasons. Usually, it’s people I’ve assisted before. But I got an email from this lady whose name I’d never seen before. It didn’t look familiar, didn’t recall speaking to her on the phone ever. So I’m not sure how she knew to email me at all. Anyway, she was asking if I could do something I knew I wasn’t allowed to do. I’ve done it before, and I’ve had my supervisor contact me about why, letting me know it’s not allowed, etc. And I’m tired of whiny-@ss schitt at work these days from my supervisor and otherwise.

So I had to respond that I could not do what she wanted. And I knew it wasn’t going to make sense to say I couldn’t do it, because it seems harmless…my job is just so f*cking silly that way. They have the most convoluted rules and they make everything 50 million times harder than necessary. Not my fault, though. Like I said, I’m tired of hearing/reading whining about garbage from my supervisor and this other department at work that whines about just dumb schitt and gets my supervisor involved in it. Like, they’re basically whining about receiving an email alert. Anyway.

So, this chick sends back this b!tchy email that was basically like, “Really? You said no to me? Don’t you know I’m Big Schitt around here? Are you serious? That’s f*cking stupid. What you just wrote me is so f*cking stupid that I’m going to copy someone I think I can use to get around you to get my way on this email and ask them to help.” Not in those words, but that was blatantly the gist. Yeah. Schitt like that is completely why I have to get off tech support and precisely why I’m taking programming classes–so that I can sit home on my @ss and create programs and apps and sell them from the comfort of my bedroom.

If you ever use Gmail, you know that Gmail users can upload pics that show whenever they email you. Our company basically uses Google for email. So I happen to glance to the side while looking at that b!tchy email, and I see Dining-Area Chick’s face in the pic. Now, I don’t put my pics on anything. People who know me will attest to that. So do I think she knows my name when she sees me? No, although there are people at our local office who somehow do know what my name is when they see me. So, I don’t think she knew that the person she was having an e-tantrum with is the same person from the dining area.

And that wasn’t the only b!tchy email from her, either. When I got the second one, I was kind of like, “Wow.” While I think my supervisors have come up with the dumbest schitt for rules, she definitely was overreacting. It says a lot about her, if she was so b!tchy about something that really didn’t warrant it to the degree she took it. And I’ve gotten just ridiculous reactions from people at the company, particularly over the phone, but those might have been the most ridiculous emails I’ve gotten since I’ve been working at this place. I also can never understand why people want someone to break rules and risk getting in trouble because someone else didn’t do what he/she should have done, and then they have more of a problem with the person who won’t break the rules than the person who didn’t do his/her part. We deal with dumb schitt like this all day every day in tech support, and it de-motivates me in terms of my job while motivating me to find something else to do for work.

Rarely do you get to see the kinds of things you need to see about someone in whom you might be interested in getting to know before you start the process of getting to know them. People in my family like to say I’m spoiled, but most people outside my family wouldn’t say that, at least not in terms of my demeanor and behavior with other people. When you don’t get your way, there has to be some semblance of grace in dealing with it, especially if it’s no big thing. I just do not operate with a sense of entitlement or act crazy with people I don’t know (notice how I included “people I don’t know”), and I don’t understand people who do. The way people act towards and speak to others amazes me every day. That’s why I f*cking hate people.

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Giving Up On Love, the New Norm?

This past weekend, I was looking through threads on a forum that I visit every now and then. Without giving away what type of forum it is, I will say that it is frequented by people who are introverts. I ran across a thread that basically asked how everyone there planned to  find love, given their age and personality (this was, I think, the 30+ section). A pretty good percentage of the people who responded–and many did–gave some version of the first thing that came to my mind for myself:

“I don’t.”

In other words, a lot of people there had “given up.” And because of the type of people who visit this forum, this was probably the only place I’ve seen where you can say you’ve given up and you have way more responses of agreement than the typical (and cheesy) “you’ll find someone when you’re not looking” or “there’s someone out there for everybody” and all the other garbage that people who have given up don’t want to hear/read. Sure, there was a little bit of that. But in general, it was person after person who believes he or she will be single forever and doesn’t plan to do anything about it. As I said, given their personality type, these people probably won’t do anything about it. This is not to say they will remain single and won’t find love, but not doing anything decreases your odds–especially if you’re a guy (because guys are still expected to be the approacher and women still approach men less than men approach women).

I got to thinking about what that thread might mean, and I did a little internet search for support.

My theory? More and more people are giving up on finding love. 

What might this mean?

Well, in the US over the past 20 years or so, we had reached a point where–as far as marriage is concerned–something that was less common became, essentially, the norm. That something is divorce. I’m starting to think the new wave of what’s normal, as far as marriage is concerned, will be less and less people getting married, more and more people being on their own. While seeing that a lot of people are out there proclaiming “I give up” sparked this belief, there are many other things out there that probably will play a role in this theory becoming reality, if it ever does.

Some of these things are complicated and ironic to think about–in particular, the increase in interracial dating/marriage and the increase in the number of people understanding that they’re not heterosexual. Although I do believe that gay marriage will be legalized throughout much of the US in a relatively short period of time (when you think about other “civil rights movements”), there are still other complications with that–the difficulty of finding gay partners vs straight ones, the number of people who still won’t feel comfortable coming out of the closet but don’t want to enter into a heterosexual union and so on. And interracial relationships, however un-PC it comes off to some people to point this out, work in the favor of certain racial and sex groups to the detriment of others. Certain groups seem to be gaining a wider net of options while others seem to be losing options. It’s complicated, so I’ll leave it at that.

I could also, perhaps, point to people who have been married and divorced and just don’t ever want to get married again or think marriage is not for them. Or people who have “learned a lesson” by looking at their parents and their failed marriage(s). And, of course, there are people who get fed up with relationships or being rejected.

Obviously, a lot of people who say they give up are full of crap. Like…these people who are 19 or 20 years old talking about “I’ll never find someone” when they’ve barely been out of diapers. But the older people who say this have a lot more power to set my theory into motion, because if there are a lot of people out there who feel this way and, thus, will not approach anyone or get on online dating sites…this will affect other people, will it not? Maybe it causes other people to give up, for one thing. It certainly can keep connections from being made…unless, of course, you’re the type of person who either believes in fate or who believes that pretty much no one who “gives up” actually gives up.

Personally, I’m thinking that I just need a reality check every now and then, and that’s why I never can completely steer clear of “love.” It’s like that thing that we all have–maybe a friend or a previous job or, even, an ex–that we ditched for a pretty good reason, and then at some point we think back or even go back because we couldn’t remember why we left in the first place. That’s the only purpose romantic relationships seem to serve for me, at least at this point in my life–they remind me of why I try to steer clear of relationships. I have not been sufficiently brainwashed by society, I don’t think, to keep trying out relationships for the more romanticized reasons. I start pretty much every relationship or emotional attachment knowing it’s not going to work for whatever reason. Most of the time in my life, I don’t even want a relationship. Rarely have I ever wanted to be married.

So, I’d recently gotten my necessary reminder, and I’d been keeping it at the forefront of my mind. This was cool, until my mother recently starting making a point that gives me pause–who is going to take care of me when I get older?

This, along with money, are the only things that ever scare me about being single forever. I know this seems unbelievable, selfish or both to a lot of people. But these are the two things that make me think, “Whoa, maybe I really do need to find someone.” Although I would honestly guess that money being a motivator is not unique for a lot of people, especially [heterosexual] women. I’m just not sure how much of finding someone to be with is about that for these people and how much is about more romanticized notions.

But for me, the thing is if I were making a good amount of money, I wouldn’t worry about this. I would simply be able to pay for really good care. But since I likely will be poor all of my days (if for no other reason than student loans), I do have to think about what my life will be like in a couple of decades. I’ve also realized by looking around that being single literally doesn’t pay. There are people who make what I make, and they have a house, a car, independence and can, more or less, pay all of their bills…because they’re married to someone who is also bringing in money. If this is not the case, then you have to be partnered up with someone in some way to make it. One of my co-workers has a roommate. I live with my parents. At least in the US, it is becoming more and more impossible to get by here as a single person. It’s too expensive living and being single. You have to have more than one income, especially if you’re a woman (because we still get paid less or do jobs that pay less than jobs that tend to attract more men).

With the way that morons are destroying the country, it will only become even harder to live here. Republicans want to get rid of any governmental assistance…stuff like social security, unemployment benefits, medicaid. And it will probably happen, or those programs will provide less than they currently do. And Democrats seem to talk the talk but leave everything status quo, whether it’s because Republicans veto everything they think will help or because they just don’t know what to do or–like all other politicians–are just flatout full of schitt…or, if you’re Obama, because you’d rather be out at lowly NCAA Tournament games between 16 seeds (I mean, dude is neglecting his job not even for the national championship game–it was 16 seeds playing to officially get into the the Tournament. And the game itself was horrible, btw–not even worth his time).

For the first time, I am really starting to see why some people look for someone who has money. I might have to give this more consideration.

In the meantime, I am back to thinking about something I’ve thought about a few times before–an arranged marriage. I’m thinking maybe I should just grab a guy I can tolerate and ask him for a business-like marriage. I’m sure there’s a gay guy out there I can talk into this. The only problem is I can’t make this type of marriage work any better than I could make a marriage-for-love work. A business arrangement carries the very real possibility that one of us will actually meet someone we want to be with and want out of the arrangement. There’s no guarantee this person will take care of me when I need it most, nor is there a guarantee that I will always have this person’s money to help me out.

Hmmm, marrying financially well is looking better and better as I type this…especially a rich old man. 😉

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