Tag Archives: exercise

Does Everyone Have One? My Shallow Thing

This morning, I realized that probably everyone on this earth has a shallow thing. A shallow thing is something about your physical self that you’d spend quite a bit of time and/or money working on just to increase your happiness. It might not even be anything anyone else has an issue with when it comes to your physical appearance. Oftentimes, it’s not. It’s just something that you don’t like and would rather change.

Common shallow things:

-A lot of women have issues with their breast size and either opt for breast augmentation or seriously consider it

-Hair coloring

-Acne treatments

-Trying to lose weight (although some would argue this is more of a health issue)

Now, I actually can relate to all the above-listed shallow things in some way, but none of these is quite my biggest shallow thing.

As far as breast size, I’m the opposite of some women. I have wanted to get a breast reduction at times. I used to really want one, but I have died down about that quite a bit. I probably would not spend money on surgery unless it became more like a health issue.

Coloring my hair is a very mild desire of mine. I’ve never done it, and I’m not sure I ever will.

Both of my sisters have serious acne issues. One of them has had these issues ever since she had chicken pox as a kid, so she grew up with serious acne and had to deal with that socially. My other sister, I’d say, has acne issues because of stress and hormones. She grew up with really nice skin. I have not had smooth skin since becoming a teenager, and I probably never will. I don’t have big acne problems, but you just can’t run your fingers over my face and feel nothing but smoothness. I tend to have what my mother calls “fine bumps.” They are really, really, really small bumps that seem to be right beneath the surface. I have not figured out how to get rid of these, but I am generally fine as long as there are not pimples, scars and dark spots.

Weight…ah. This should probably be my big shallow thing. It’s not, though. I could definitely write a separate post all about this issue. I guess all I can tell you right now is I pretty much never feel bad about my weight. I would like to lose some weight. I would like to have an easier time shopping for clothes, especially shirts (again, those damn big breasts and just general top heaviness). I do like to work out, depending on what it is, but I don’t look at working out as only–and maybe not even mainly–being about losing weight and being healthy (which, I hate how people act as if weight and health are inseparable/the same thing–again, a separate post).

So…the one thing I’m willing to open up my bank account and pour money out to fix and, thus, feel better about myself, regardless of what most people have to say?

My teeth.

I have wanted Invisalign for years…probably ever since I first saw the commercials on TV. I have just never really been able to afford it. I am now getting to a point where I can, if I’m not already there. The only thing is I’m supposed to be saving money to move. I also don’t have a car, and it’d be helpful to get one. It also just doesn’t, to me, make a lot of sense to get money and immediately spend it, especially since I have student loans. Still, money seems to burn a hole in my pocket. When I feel that I have plenty of it, I start coming up with all these things I want to get and I get them. Those things are usually tech gadgets. But now, especially since I have dental insurance through work, I’m starting to think more seriously about pursuing Invisalign.

Other than needing to save money to move, there’s another issue–working full time. I read a bit about getting Invisalign, and it just seems kind of like you have to visit the orthodontist a little too frequently. I just don’t know how I’d work this with a job. I don’t believe in telling employers, “I have to leave early,” “I’ll be late” or “I need to take a long lunch.” I did also just get this job not that long ago.

To back up…

I was the kid who needed braces but never got them. I don’t know that braces, back then, could have fixed everything. Basically, my top teeth are the issue. I have an overbite and a gap, and the teeth on one side of the gap stick out more than the teeth on the other side do. I’m not extremely, extremely self-conscious about this, but when I do think about it it’s the kind of thing I’d have no trouble putting down thousands to fix. I would not do it for my breasts, acne or weight, but I’d do it for this. I can totally see going into an ortho’s office and his telling me, “Oh, yeah, this will be $5000, and then there will be an extra $500 for this and an extra $250 for this” and I’m just like, “Oh, okay. Whatever.”

Not totally sure why. People can be asses about teeth, but people are definitely more so asses about weight–especially now when they can kind of cloak their comments about people’s weight in terms of “oh, it’s about health/taking care of yourself” when it’s often not (it’s about you not liking what you see in someone else). But as I said before, for me, it’s not about other people. If it were, then, surely, I’d care more about my weight than about this. It’s kind of like a physical pet peeve. I had someone whom I really liked tell me that she thinks gaps are sexy, and if we were happily married and I could get Invisalign to get rid of it I still would. With your shallow thing, other people just usually are not the point, even if they think the total opposite about your shallow thing than you do and view it positively when you don’t.

The thing is I didn’t realize I had this physical thing that I’d be willing to spend either a lot of time or a lot of money on to make it “right” until this morning. As I said, I’d wanted Invisalign for years. But it never clicked with me before that this was my “breast augmentation” or my “plastic surgery.” I used to think something was wrong with people who went out and had cosmetic surgery or botox, and now I have to rethink that.

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Finding the Energy for Life

Tomorrow, I will officially be out of training at work. This means I have to come into work an hour earlier because I am no longer coming in on the same shift as the person who was training me. I am going to my own shift.

Just as I was getting used to my new day-to-day schedule, which was making it easier to not want to come home and just fall on my face. Now there’s a change that requires getting up even earlier than I have been. I’m almost positive this will throw me back into wanting to fall on my face within a couple of hours of getting home from work.

Truth be told, there are so many things I’ve created for myself that I “need” to do when I get home from work. I just never feel like it. Many of them relate to things that, in theory, I really want…or they, at least, would help me get closer to living the kind of life I’d prefer to be living. Learning more about programming and investing are two biggies. But sitting down and making myself learn anything has been a challenge ever since I spent two months studying for the bar exam. I had my fill of book learning with that, and I have been just about book-brain dead ever since…to the point of not even having sat for any IT certification exams yet. I can’t even finish reading books for fun anymore.

The other thing that coincided with studying for the bar exam, though, is struggling to find energy on a regular basis. While I was studying for the bar exam, I decided to try 5-hour Energy drink. It worked for a very little while, and then it did nothing for me. Since then, it’s been an on and off quest to find something that will help me make it through the day. When I was working at the hotel, I actually tried caffeine pills. Of course, I did think about that episode of Saved By the Bell when Jessie got addicted to caffeine pills. But that didn’t stop me from going to Walgreen’s and getting some. I don’t see how anyone could get addicted to those (I say the same for Oxycontin, too). They totally made me feel sick to my stomach, they made my head feel weird and, if I remember correctly, I could smell blood in my nasal passages. And they didn’t really work that well for me after a short period of time, either, and I think they only picked me up for about 4 hours when they did work. Yeah, it wasn’t long before I quit taking those.

Then I tried those Emergen-c vitamin C packets (that come with a lot of other vitamins in them, as well). They didn’t really seem to do anything. A lot of people feel that they help keep them from getting sick, and I’m really not sure it even did that.

Then I did something that I never thought I’d do–I drank coffee. Well…as much of it as I could tolerate. I might be alone here, but I really think coffee is gross. It also makes your breath smell. Coffee is what most of the guys at my job use to keep them going, and the guy who was training me…gosh, when he spoke, all I could smell was coffee. So anyway…yeah, I got desperate enough to try yucky coffee, and, I must say–you don’t even have to drink a full cup to get a little perk. Still, I couldn’t tolerate the taste enough to keep drinking even a little bit. I would probably have to say the same for stuff like green tea. Plus, with coffee, I’m too lazy to have to make it, first of all. And if it’s made already, I have to mix it to where I can tolerate it–which I’m too lazy for–and it’s impossible because I’d have to pour all of the sugar in the world in a cup for it to be tolerable.

I also have to say that the one thing that does help me without making me sick (or gag) is taking Excedrin, because Excedrin has caffeine in it. But, for some reason, I guess caffeine with aspirin and acetaminophen doesn’t make me feel horrible the way straight-up caffeine pills do. This is something I discovered just due to being a migraine sufferer. Excedrin got me through my last job in terms of energy because I had migraines pretty much daily at that job. Either that, or they were tension headaches, which I would consider a form of migraine. But I don’t have headaches or migraines to the same degree on my new job as I did at my last one.

So, how to not just sit at my desk and look like a catatonic schizo?

Well, I went to Walgreen’s again, but this time looking for stuff that was a little more natural…perhaps something with a lot of B vitamins in it. I will not try anything that has caffeine in it, except for Excedrin, and I don’t trust most other energy drinks. I decided to give Emergen-c another shot. I’m still not sure it works. I drink it on the way to work and for the first hour or two while I’m at work. I notice that I start to feel awake about 2 or 3 hours into work, but I don’t know if this is the drink or if it’s just a function of my having been awake and at work for a few hours. I will say, though, that the last couple of days I went to work with nothing to drink, and I completely felt like falling on my face until 3 or so hours into work vs just yawning a lot when I have the drink.

Needless to say, I’m not sure I’m done looking for something that will give me that extra boost. There is a smoothie shop next door to where I work. I did try one of those smoothies, one that comes with an energy boost in it, but I didn’t much care for the taste and I’m not sure it worked. I also drank some of that lame vitamin water. Excedrin is still the one [tolerable] thing with which I know I feel different and I know why I feel different, but I can’t just take Excedrin every day. And I really would like something that is more on the healthy side.

There is one other thing that I think would help me–getting more exercise. I think this would help not only with energy but also with headaches and migraines and stress. It did in the past, after all. I haven’t worked out in a while because, frankly, I hate exercise machines. They are boring. They’re something I just cannot stick with. I do like to play sports, though. I could play basketball almost daily, and I used to. To that end, I’m trying to push my father to build a basketball court of sorts in the backyard. Er…just found out that will be about $2000. But I still want to have this done. I played basketball last weekend, and I felt great afterwards. Pained…but great.

How do you get your energy every day?

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