Category Archives: work

This Is the End

As mentioned in my last post, I was going to put up my “bye” post but didn’t know what to write other than “bye.” A few weeks ago, I went online and found these funny GIFs for the post and was going to write a post that same night…just didn’t know what to write.

Then, of course, my Macbook Pro decided to act silly (because that’s what Macbooks do), and I ended up dropping $200 on a new (used) motherboard (they call it a “logic board”), which I installed myself over a week ago. (In the meantime, I wrote my last post on my Dell laptop–yes, I have two laptops, and if you think that’s bad just try and guess how many cell phones I have. But the Macbook Pro is *supposed* to be for programming.) And now that I finally feel sure that I did well enough that this laptop won’t burst into flames, I’m going to be brave and spend more than 15 minutes on it so I can show you what I call my “bye” GIFs (again, I found them online–they’re not really mine).

twerk-lol

Let’s see if we can adequately sum this blog up…

Doesn’t it look like Beyonce is saying “Later, hoe”? That’s right, ya heard–I’m sayin’ LATER to you, you WordPress HOE!

That’s me being an @ss. I mean…not literally me, but…telling someone “later, hoe” is so me nowadays. The jobs and the people I’ve complained about throughout this blog will make you that way–“crunk,” as one of my “work friends” calls it/me.

And for my fellow football fanatics, especially college football…

You throwin’ me out, WordPress? Yep, pretty much. I suck just that bad, kind of like this quarterback did.

Oh my goodness–I remember the first time I saw this. When I first started this blog, I was a sportswriter on the side while working a migraine-inducing tech support job with a whole bunch of psycho clients calling in. And I worked with a psychob!tch I called “Female Tech Geek” (FTG) and several cool geeky guys. One of the cool geeks introduced me to LSUfreek, who makes these funny college football GIFs, and I laughed so hard when I saw this one. The funniest thing I’d seen, next to Dave Chappelle’s “Black White Supremacist” skit. Of course, it helps if you know about South Carolina, Steve Spurrier and Stephen Garcia–makes it funnier.

And, of course, there’s relationships. Though I have no GIF for that, I do have a song that kind of fits–but especially the chorus.

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Women, Blacks and Computer Programming

I wasn’t planning on writing another post on this blog, with the exception of my “Bye” post–and the only reason that hasn’t gone up yet is because I don’t know what to write (other than “bye”). But I want to write at least a little bit more than that for the, what, two readers I have.

Perhaps it is not so bad that “it’s so hard to say goodbye,” or else I wouldn’t be posting the following, which may be enlightening to some who are interested in the following topic. And here it is:

So, I haven’t written a lot about this while keeping this blog, but I am attempting to transition into a career as a programmer or software (or web) developer. I’ve taken a couple of online classes, but I am sick of the online route and feel that I need something that is faster and more structured, as well as more in depth. This has led me to do some research on what is out there that might fit me.

I ran across some bootcamp classes, which…bootcamp sounds great to me. Nobody I’ve talked to about it seems to like the idea of my going to bootcamp. In fact, some of them don’t like it for some of the reasons why I love it, i.e. you learn a lot in a short amount of time. And, obviously, there’s the cost of bootcamp.

Anyway…not the point. The thing about the bootcamps is every bootcamp pic is full of whites and Asians, most of them male. These bootcamps are always like, “Oh, 95% of our graduates get jobs as developers within a few months of completing bootcamp”…but…all of their grads lack melanin, which leaves me wondering whether or not I’d be able to get a job after bootcamp (if I actually went). It’s not like I’m just black or just a woman and have at least sex or at least race in my corner–I’m both. This led me to do some more research–this time about women and blacks in this field.

Every time I search on this topic, I find articles and blog posts that wonder why blacks aren’t attracted to programming or why women aren’t majoring in Computer Science anymore. And there’s a lot of discussion, but I’m not sure I’ve ever actually seen a–for lack of a better word–“correct” answer. So, I’m going to cut the bullschitt and tell you my truth.

Why didn’t I study Comp. Sci, and why do I think blacks don’t become programmers or developers?

1) Frankly? Every time I think of all of those whites and Asians in those bootcamp pics, especially the guys you could tell are super geeky, I seriously ask myself if I want to spend entire workdays–or even bootcamp–surrounded by a bunch of geeky whites and Asians with whom I have nothing in common but this one interest.

For one thing, I am not a geek. I’m a nerd. There’s a difference. I think people who are attracted to stuff like programming tend to be geeks. Geeks and nerds usually have different personalities and different interests. I think nerds have more of a mainstream quality to them, to the point where sometimes you have to get to know someone before you realize he/she is a nerd. I’m incredibly capable of fitting in with “average” people and having conversations that don’t go above everyone’s head about everyday things. When I tell jokes, they’re actually funny to “average” people. Stuff like that.

I’ve seen definitions that basically switch the meaning of “geek” and “nerd,” but this is based on my daily observations–I think nerds are basically just more intellectual (in a broad range of subjects) and more quiet than everyone else, but geeks flatout don’t make sense to other people, tend to specialize in their knowledge and look odd, to boot. Think Jessie Spano (nerd) vs Screech Powers (geek) from “Saved By the Bell.”

Now, some of the “reasoning” and guessing I’ve seen as to why women, for example, don’t head towards programming involves the perception that it’s “uncool” or “uncool” people work in programming. This is not what I’m saying, so don’t get it confused. I’m not cool, not interested in it. I don’t particularly believe women are looking for cool careers/co-workers, but I do think a lot of women want to feel comfortable at work…and there are many things I can see with programming that can lead to some discomfort. This is doubly true if you’re a black woman. I’m not a teenager anymore. I’ve socialized for a long time, have worked for a long time, around all kinds of people. It’s way too complicated for a blog post, so all I can tell you is that 1) I know enough to know that dropping a fairly normal black–or even white or Asian (but especially a black)–female into a geeky white-guy space is going to be kind of awkward for everyone involved, and 2) you’re going to have a hard time finding a black person or a woman who is truly an all-out geek or even truly a full-fledged nerd, which further exacerbates what would surely be an issue of cultural fit in the workplace. Let’s face it–if you went out geek profilin’, you’d be looking for white or Asian guys. You profile black men in a different way. There are reasons for this.

The thing about it is, as I’ve written time and time again, cultural fit makes or breaks you on the job. Nobody’s going to convince me otherwise–I believe hard/good work and skill level have ridiculously little to do with advancing on the job or being treated well/fairly–and I think this is something most people understand on some level. It can keep you from getting your foot in the door, which is what led to my questioning whether or not bootcamp post-employment would work for me quite the same way it allegedly works for white guys and Asian guys and a few token non-black women. And other times, you can get through the door but get treated differently than everyone else once you’re inside.

This is not to say that my concern is discrimination, per se. It really is more so thinking about the kind of people by which I’d be surrounded and the awkwardness of it due to my lack of geekiness, my race and my sex vs the geekiness, race and sex of others. Discrimination is mainly an issue, for me, in terms of even being able to get hired in the first place.

2) Um…I’m almost 33 years old. So…when I was in high school deciding what I might want to major in during college–and then when I went to college–I don’t really remember much in the way of computer programming being offered. Now, that’s not to say there wasn’t anything. But…you’ve got to admit, that kind of thing has gotten more popular, more mainstream, and it’s all thanks to the tech explosion. So, you had an exposure problem back then that doesn’t exist to the same degree anymore. Now with cell phones and cell phone apps everywhere, how can studying Comp. Sci or wanting to find out how to develop programs not cross anyone’s mind? Frankly, if it weren’t for Androids and the iPhone, I don’t think I’d be looking into programming or development. It still never really would have crossed my mind.

So why is it that the number of women majoring in Comp. Sci has actually dropped now? Beats me. I’m surprised women ever were majoring in it…or anyone else, for that matter. But more so women…which leads me to my next point…

3) It strikes me that, back in the day, if you ended up in programming, there had to be a way for you to learn about that field’s existence. It wasn’t like law or medicine or teaching, i.e. something that’s very visible, sexy and/or overly-discussed. Something had to make those people say, “Hey, how do I get into this?”

I think little boys get into things that make them ask that question more than little girls do. The best example I can think of is video games. And I’m not saying little girls don’t play video games. I played them, and I still do. Still, I’ve never been a “gamer” by any stretch of the imagination (I play sports games predominantly, which most gamers do not play). And “gamers” almost always are guys. Again, it’s like being a geek–there are female geeks, but they almost never completely capture the essence of being a geek the way so many guys do. Gaming is the same way.

My point is, if you play video games all the time and you love them, it’s your passion…eventually, you’re going to wonder about how to create a video game. Therefore, more little boys are going to wonder about it at some point and proceed to investigate how you can “create” games, programs, software.

Now, I think with the tech explosion and kids way too young to be having cell phones still having them…it’s going to be more of an equalizer for women and minorities, i.e. we’ll see more and more girls and young minorities grow up surrounded by and doing things that plant the programming seed. But when I was growing up? I don’t think that was the case.

The one thing I do still see is minority households–particularly black and Latino–seem to be less likely to have technology such as computers or cell phones in the home than everyone else. My sister, for example, has never had a computer with high-speed internet access in any of her homes (um, apartments). This means she has a 19-year old daughter who has never had a computer or laptop. She has kids who are even younger than that who have never had a computer or laptop. It’s unthinkable to me and probably to a lot of people. I actually grew up with computers, for the most part, and I don’t think most people my age can say that (I’m talking elementary school, we had a computer in the living room). It’s probably one of the reasons why I have been able to break into IT without a related degree or any certifications and perform as well as people who have Comp. Sci/IT-related degrees and certs. But kids like my sister’s kids? There’s no way in the hell they’re going to become programmers or for programming as a career to seriously cross their minds. Heck, I grew up with computers, and it never crossed my mind until the last few years.

4) One thing I will say [write]–and it has been flowing through this post without directly stating it–is that one thing people have to get over if they’re seriously going to discuss the lack of women/blacks in IT, including in programming…is that women are different from men and blacks are different from whites (and then, to go even further, black women different from white women and so on). The…end. I saw a blog post within the last week where the comments just kind of…[sighs]…got out of hand with this, “Well, women don’t have the brains for this…” and the “OMG, that’s ridiculous…” kind of stuff. I mean…I’m not even talking about brain chemistry. I’m talking about being raised a certain way, probably more than anything else, and then societal expectations/steering to some degree. I don’t have all the answers with that. I just think it’s a complicated, hard-to-explain thing, but if you’re going to talk about it or write about it you can’t ignore that there are just differences there. And the differences don’t just boil down to discrimination or mental capacity. I have articulated several of them.

5) Finally, one thing that keeps a lot of people from pursuing anything tech-related is the perception that it’s too hard to learn and some people just have some innate ability to “get” these things. But I think the best-kept secret is that technology is nowhere near as complicated as people act like it is. The geeks keep you well-fooled. They had me fooled for a while. Now I know that you don’t have to be a tech geek in order to understand some of this stuff and to do it for a living. The only thing that keeps jobs in the IT industry and IT people employed is people refusing to believe that and running to the nearest perceived tech geek for every little thing instead of figuring it out. I was one of the few people who would actually sit and figure stuff out, and google whatever I couldn’t (still do), and now I work in IT with a BA in psychology and a law degree. Now, some people aren’t smart enough to figure out anything tech-related, and that’s fine. But anybody who is pretty intelligent and who has the interest can get this stuff.

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Work-Life Balance and the Single Person

I’m starting to see what a lot of other single people, perhaps, already have learned–other people don’t think single people deserve work-life balance.

Now, I haven’t had anyone say this to me in person. But I have approached my current job a little bit differently than I have approached other jobs. I have indirectly let it be known that I am not one of those workers of whom you can just take advantage–that’s my friend Clara. I’m not worried about being the perfect employee or losing my job. I let people know that when the clock hits that time at the end of the workday, I’m gone.

Recently, a lot of changes have been made at my job. Essentially, everything I liked about my job is either now gone or likely will be very soon. The only thing that is still in the “very soon” category is a change being made to what time I have to be at work in the mornings and what time I get to leave in the afternoons. Nobody has told me that is about to change, but I’m not stupid. My job duties have completely changed, and the people I work with are totally different people.

They have me training with this guy, whom, I can tell, doesn’t seem to understand what my hours are at work. He’s the kind of guy who is very into his job, very dedicated. I’m not like that, especially not now that my employers have f*cked my job all up with these changes. Plus, I’m a contract employee and he’s not…so why should I be dedicated when my employer is not dedicated to me? You think this is true for every job. You also think it’s true that changes occur at every job. But neither of these things in a regular job is like how they are in a contract position. There is absolutely no stability in a contract job in any sense, no regularity or uniformity–you do whatever they want whenever, regardless of what you’re told in the beginning about the position or what you’re told while working the position. Contract jobs might as well never have job titles, at least not in IT, because the title won’t apply for long (if ever). And then to top it off, most contract jobs eventually end, usually in a year or less. Now that I understand this about how employers yank their contractors here, there and yonder with no regard for them, I will not be taking contract IT jobs ever again.

Given all of this, it should be of little surprise that I care little about what the company’s needs are, what their customers’ needs are. I will probably be getting tossed out of the company after my contract is up, regardless of how well I do, and I wouldn’t necessarily like to have my contract renewed there anyway. I plan to move to another city/state, and that has been my plan for a while and I am applying for jobs in those places…even have one interview lined up. So, I care about putting in my 8 hours and then getting the hell out of there. And even with a permanent position, frankly, I’d be the same way and have been the same way.

Every day this week, I’ve had to let this guy who is training me know that I get off work at X time, because he talks as if I’m going to still be around after that time or like I have time to stick around a little later and do XYZ. I flatout told this guy, “My supervisor said my hours are still the same, so until they say different I’m out at [X] time.” This afternoon, one of the other guys I now work with, this creepy guy, assumed I would still be around late, and my trainer heard me tell him what time I leave. Immediately, my trainer was like, “You’re ready to go home, aren’t you? Do you have kids you’re taking trick-or-treating tonight?” because it’s Halloween in the US.

Look, I know what that question really was–trying to find out if I have kids and is that the reason why I am adamant about leaving work at a certain time. Because having kids is the only legitimate reason for running away from your job, don’t you know. Especially if you’re a woman. My friend Clara lets people know she can’t stay late because of her son all the time or she’s leaving early because of her son, and people accept that. But with me, people are wanting to know why I “have” to leave at X time.

Three things:

1) Halloween is a fake holiday. It’s one of the most pointless days I’ve ever known. I especially can’t stand how there are grown adults who “celebrate” Halloween; they need to grow the f*ck up. Nobody should pay any attention to it, in my opinion, so it’d never have a thing to do with why I’m leaving work.

2) There’s so much wrong with thinking only parents have a legitimate reason to run off from work, including the fact that they probably are actually the main ones who need the damn money if they’re going to see any overtime pay from staying late. The average single person just has bills. Parents have bills and expensive-@ss kids. Yet parents are actually the main ones always trying to leave work early or on time. This guy at my job basically has a newborn, and ever since he had that kid he has never again worked a full day not called Monday (our busiest day) on the job. Yet he says he doesn’t have enough money. He’s an hourly contractor…hmm, he’s leaving after 4-5 hours of work…wonder why he’s not making anything.

He and I need to swap hours. Working 4-5 hours most days is my kind of schitt. They should have put someone like him in my new position (and they could have, but didn’t–wonder why?), where they’re talking about working overtime (which I loathe) and Saturdays (which is just sacrilegious and damn-near something to walk out the door over, especially if you love college football more than anything, as I do). Plus, let’s be real–who is more hands-on with babies and kids, moms or dads? What the hell does he need to be at home all the time for? All he’s going to do is say, “Here, hon, the baby is crying” or “Here, hon, the baby needs to be changed,” hand the kid to the mother and then go sit down in front of the TV or the computer. Sorry, men–I have had this kind of convo with dads before, and you guys just have no idea how little dads help with or do for their kids compared to the kids’ mother.

Ironically, the exact reasons why I don’t have kids are because I don’t want to have to care for anyone–financially or in any other way–and because I want a life and because I want my life to be about me. That includes work–I don’t want a life that is about work. This is where “work-life balance” comes in. Everyone I know who looks on the bright side when it comes to working overtime is a parent–usually, a man–and it’s always about the money.

My observation about women has been that women who have kids tend to know on some level that their life is not theirs anymore, it’s not about them–so they don’t even think that way. They think in terms of what their kids (or husband) need, what’s best for their kids. Kids need things that cost money, however much time you’d rather spend with them. My observation about men is that the vast majority of men care more about making money than the vast majority of women do, for a variety of reasons–probably the three biggest are status, attracting women and what they were taught about being a man growing up. As a single female, I have totally different concerns, concerns that really don’t involve making money. These different concerns leave me trying to figure out how to explain to the moms, dads and single men I know why I value my free time far more than I value the extra money I’ll get by working on Saturday (the extra money being something I don’t value at all). Yet all of them will be home on Saturday or enjoying some activity outside the home and outside of work.

3) Why do I “have” to leave at X time? Because that’s what time I’m scheduled to leave. And I have every right to leave at that time. Whether or not I have kids is immaterial.

One more point before I go–not too long ago, I was reading an article online where the author wondered why people speak of “work-life balance.” Is working really so bad and do people hate their jobs so much that they need to categorically separate it from the rest of their life, the author wondered. At that point, I wondered where in the hell this author has been her entire working life. Seriously, she must be part of the lucky 10-15% of people who loves their job. Ever notice how it’s always writers with real writing jobs, always entertainers who have officially “made it,” always people who work in the media, always people who make big bucks who love their jobs? Gee, I wonder why. No wonder they can’t relate. I know they didn’t start at the top, but the point is they’re there now and now they don’t “get it.”

Pay me a ridiculous amount to dish sports on ESPN three hours a day, and see how much I love my job. Pay me to write ridiculous articles about how I can no longer relate to mere commoners who need work-life balance because I make enough money to actually pay bills and eat as a writer as opposed to having to write on the side like 90% of writers do (myself included). Or how about those ridiculous articles about “do what you love for a living”? You do know that the average person “loves” things that either don’t pay, don’t pay enough to make a living or require expensive schooling only to be shut out of jobs because that person has never had a job in that industry, right? Oh, I forget–you no longer relate to the mere commoner because you’ve got the rare cushy, enjoyable writing job that actually pays bills.

Over the past week, I’ve confirmed that, yes, work and life have to be separated for most people, including myself. I am largely in that category where what I’d love to do generally doesn’t pay enough to make a living (writing and/or technical repair). I would agree with people who say to find a job you can tolerate, but that’s easier said than done. So, my best solution is to find a job I can actually do for the most amount of money I can get, because if I’m going to hate every job I get at some point then I might as well focus on the money. It’s not easy, because caring about money isn’t my nature. But I made more money at my last job, and the positives to that were now I have surpassed my initial savings goal and am on to my next savings goal (which I am close to meeting)…and I have still been able to buy everything I want (except a Mercedes), take trips everywhere I’ve wanted to go and enjoy myself outside of work. Although I hated my last job, it created a pretty decent work-life balance and I never had to work late or on Saturdays.

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The Dying Art of Friendship

Today was my monthly “skip work” day, just one of my many sage life philosophies. I firmly believe that, unless you are someone who actually loves work (hell no), loves your job (hell no to the 10th power) or can’t afford to miss work (either for your pocket’s sake or your job security’s sake), everyone should just take a day to him/herself, preferably once a month, in order to stay sane. This is how I live. Judging by how many people–grown adults–I saw at the mall this afternoon, I would say I’m not the only one.

This means that my best friend Clara was at work today “by herself.” She begged and pleaded with me to come in today, but I told her no because I was losing my mind and it was just time for that skip day. She wanted me there because I am entertaining, but also because there is a lot of drama at work and she needs someone who is on her side. It is becoming a high school-like environment replete with tattletales, vindictive bitches, phonies, people choosing sides, wimps and very little work–which leaves more time for people to be fake old-@ss vindictive tattletale bitches. Clara paid me back for not coming today by texting and calling me with updates on all the bullschitt I was missing, as if she didn’t quite get that missing all of it for one day was my intent.

I firmly believe that some of the things that happened today would not have happened had I been there. Clara talks a good game to me, but I’m really the only one whose mouth shoots bullets directly at these @ssholes. Consequently, people don’t fuck with me. But…they will still fuck with Clara, and today they did.

When I write that Clara talks a good game to me, I mean that she complains a lot and puts on a tough act like she’s going to do/say something about these things making her complain. But mostly, she just complains every day. Now, I’m fine with complaining–in fact, I love that she is a complainer. I’m one, too, and most people just won’t put up with a complainer. So, complainers only have each other. But, as I’ve told her, things really need to be said to people’s faces and then you need to move on. Plus, she goes on and on way too long. Vent for 10 minutes, then let it go.

I’ve written other posts on my blog about friendship, and, for those who don’t know, this is going to be one of my last posts as I am ending the blog soon. I have lamented losing my friends, including the last woman with whom I was romantically involved. Some of these people I have described as lost friends don’t even know I view them this way. They still contact me via text, Facebook, email or whatnot. But we are no longer friends, in my mind. I will elaborate in a second.

I’ve also mentioned briefly here at times that there is another female at work, Sharon, who hangs out with us but whom I have considered Clara’s friend and not mine. The word “friend” has been used among all of us, but there has always been something about Sharon…at the very least, I have felt we don’t have anything in common. That’s not always make or break, as you can learn a lot from people who are different from you. But on top of it all, Sharon is dull, and it’s damn-near impossible for a dull person and an introvert who hates people anyways to be friends (not to say all introverts hate people, but I do). I mean, what are the two going to talk about? Nothing. That’s why almost all of my friends are outgoing and talkative–they complement my personality, allowing the friendship to work.

Today, I think I realized why I don’t care for Sharon and why I have never considered her a friend. Sharon is the typical female “friend.” The drama at work bothers Clara and me. Clara wants to talk about it. Sharon doesn’t want to hear it. I don’t necessarily want to talk about it, especially not as much as Clara does, but I respond to what Clara says and agree for the most part and have told her at times in a nice way that just sitting around complaining isn’t the answer–she has to do something.

I told Clara about Sharon weeks ago because, although Sharon has never said she doesn’t want to hear it, I could read her body language and behavior while Clara vents and tell that she doesn’t want to hear it. I said, “Listen, you need to watch talking about this with Sharon, because I can tell she doesn’t want to hear it. Just talk to me about it, because I don’t care and I get where you’re coming from.” Clara was in agreement, and then she went right back to going on and on and on–immediately. Meanwhile, Sharon just sits there, says nothing and plays with her cell phone.

Sharon’s philosophy for dealing with drama is to ignore it. So, she doesn’t agree with my being direct with people about what I think and how I feel or telling people to fuck off, and she doesn’t agree with Clara’s complaining. Even though Clara is being targeted by this jack@ss at work and it affects me, as well, I don’t think Sharon “gets” what the problem is and she isn’t the slightest bit supportive. The only time she’ll say anything is to imply that we’re overreacting. Indeed, Sharon told Clara today that Clara and I are “too sensitive.”

I almost guarantee, Sharon wouldn’t have said that if I were sitting there because she knows she would have been the target of a “fuck off.” The difference between Clara and me is Clara only thought about telling Sharon that she’s full of schitt–I would have done it, and I would have told her that she needs to find another crew to sit with from now on. Some @sshole is basically doing schitt that could lead to Clara getting fired, and Clara is too sensitive because she’s angry about it and tired of it…

Look, I don’t recall anyone asking Sharon to be our friend–quite the opposite. She came up to us one day and said, “You all are having too much fun over here; I want in!” And now that it’s not all fun and games, she wants to sit with us and look miserable because we’re upset or because we’re having a real conversation about politics, for example, and not just joking around.

Sorry–real friendship is not about being entertained. You take the good with the bad. When your friend is upset, you sit there and you listen and be supportive. I don’t care how much you can’t stand complaining or how tired you are of hearing it. You don’t sit there and say, “Oh, you’re too sensitive,” or pout because your friend isn’t being particularly funny today. If you can’t handle that, move on–and that’s why I would have told Sharon to go sit somewhere else if I had been there.

I don’t have friends who just want to be entertained and can’t have real, substantive conversations. I won’t have those kind of friends. And the whole reason why I have ditched a lot of my friends or no longer consider them friends is because there is no such thing as a friend who isn’t there for you, supporting you. Our society nowadays has bought into this whole thing of, “Oh, we can go years without talking, and one of us can call the other one day and pick right back up where we left off. That’s real friendship.” No, that’s a bunch of crap. This person has not been there for you, and you have not been there for that person. You barely know each other anymore, to be honest, let alone have a friendship.

To me, friendship is not something that is in theory, one-sided or enduring long stretches of silence.  And buying into friendships that are about entertaining people, good times only, labeling people who want to talk about their problems every now and then as “negative” or “sensitive,” or only talking to each other once every three years is just another way for us to avoid building and sustaining real relationships with people–relationships that take work. After all, isn’t that really why the divorce rate is so high in the US? People have just gotten lazy with relationships, and not even just with romantic relationships. Nobody wants to do the work anymore, and nobody cares about anyone besides self anymore.

So, this chick Sharon is going to keep following us around, looking for entertainment. And she’s going to say the wrong thing in front of me, and she is going to find herself taking a bullet from my mouth. I grew up tolerating a lot of bullschitt from people–was harassed by bitches in elementary and junior high school, have dealt with racial crap all of my life, I’m a lesbian–and the older I get the less I tolerate. I do not exist to entertain dumb bitches who don’t have an intellectual thought anywhere in their heads. Apparently, Clara and I are on the same page about Sharon, too. When I told Clara she wouldn’t be by herself because she’d have Sharon at work today, she turned up her noise–even my mother noticed and asked me about it later. Afterwards, I asked Clara about it, and she remarked that she doesn’t have anything in common with Sharon and that Sharon never has anything to say–she just “exists.”

I died laughing at the “exists” comment. It sparks thoughts of inanimate objects just sitting there, not really contributing to my life. I think that’s how I will refer to all of my “friends.” “Aren’t you and Leslie friends anymore?” Me: “No, she just exists.” 😛

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Operation Find A Job Pt. 6–More Realistic Standards

6) You Need To Lower Your Standards. When all else fails, perhaps before you dip into being less than honest, check into your standards. A lot of people who have degrees have a standards problem, and a lot of people who had good jobs but got laid off have a standards problem. People with degrees want to go directly from college to a job that pays at least $50,000 a year, and people who had a job paying at least $50,000 a year want another job that is exactly like the one they lost that pays the same as or more than what they were making before.

Sorry. But you gotta do what you gotta do if you’ve been looking for a job for a long time and nothing has worked. If that means taking a pay cut, you take a pay cut. If that means doing something different in a different field for a living, do something different in a different field for a living. If that means doing something for which you perceive yourself to be overqualified, then you take a job for which you’re overqualified.

I also think people have incorrect ideas about being overqualified/underemployed. I could easily say I’m overqualified for the work I do. In fact, my “best work friend” Clara often talks about how a lot of people where we work have degrees and are overqualified, which is definitely true for her (she has an IT degree and has worked better IT jobs with higher pay prior to this one). But to me, unless their degree is in IT, Computer Science, Computer Engineering or anything like that, they are not overqualified–they are alternatively qualified, like me. IT has nothing to do with what I studied in school–nothing at all. So, taking entry-level IT positions doesn’t make me overqualified just because I have a college degree and a professional degree. In fact, when you’re making a career change or trying to break into a field that is different from the one for which you prepared in school, you’re going to have to start at the bottom in that field. You don’t just get to skip over step 1 because you’re past step 1 on a totally different track.

And even still, I’ve noticed that a lot of people with IT-related degrees had to start with the same garbage IT jobs I have worked. So, in a way, I am doing better than these people are because they spent years in school studying this schitt and are exactly where I am. At some point, will someone get an IT job over me because they have a related degree plus the experience? Yeah, I’m sure. That’s the way it should be, though. I still have every confidence that I will be fine in my chosen field. If that’s not the case, I will go back to [a cheap] school.

I’ve seen a lot of people turn down jobs because they “only” pay $12/hr. Um. So, remaining unemployed is somehow better than making $12/hr? Get over yourself. It looks worse when you’re applying for jobs to have a big gap on your resume, or to admit you’ve sat around doing nothing but applying for jobs, than to work a $12/hr job. In fact, you eventually reach a point where not having a job keeps you from getting one. So, get over your degree or your previous job and take that job that’s not good enough for you. And if you already have a gap, you might have to take my advice about being less than honest (see “Operation Get A Job” Post #2).

I’m not one to hate on certain majors, but most majors are general and don’t career-track you–at least not without getting a masters degree or Ph.D or another advanced degree (and oftentimes, not even those advanced degrees help). The mistake a lot of college grads make is they take a general degree and apply for all kinds of jobs that seem “prestigious” without having anything to show as to why they’re qualified for these positions, just thinking a college degree or a nice school name should do the trick. They don’t. As mentioned in #1, you’re predominantly “qualified” for low-paying jobs that have a customer-service aspect to them. You’re almost certainly not going to be able to take an English or philosophy degree into a healthcare or business position (love English and philosophy–minored in both and enjoyed them immensely, particularly English courses–I respect these subjects, but I’m just being honest and realistic). I know it’s a hard pill to swallow for new grads when they start realizing this, but this is how it is now.

If you have to move back in with your parents, move back in. If you have to work two jobs, work two jobs. You gotta do what you gotta do. Let go of your ego and your expectations, and stop worrying about appearances–these things are getting in your way.

Pt. 1–You’re Not Focusing Your Job Search

Pt. 2–Your Resume Isn’t Cutting It

Pt. 3–You Don’t Know How To Apply

Pt. 4–You Need To Learn How To Interview

Pt. 5–What Employers Value

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Putting People In Their Place

I don’t care where you work or what you do for a living, it seems like there’s always something about your job. Right now, I’m realizing there are some crazy people where I work. And I had to verbally jack one of them up last week in front of several people. Or as my mother says, I cursed him out without using curse words.

Because I am sure I don’t have many regular readers, let me just explain these key things first:

1) My attitude at my blog is generally pretty different from my attitude in person. Here, I’m always saying I can’t stand people and am always cursing and being an @ss. In person, I am quiet and pretend to be friendly. Yes, pretend. I’m so-fucking-not. I just want most people to fuck off. But because being sociable and agreeable are damn-near job requirements nowadays (especially in most of my previous jobs, which had strong customer service elements), I know that I have to cool it at work, be fake to some degree and then just come to my blog and complain or complain to my work friend Clara.

2) In general, I don’t actually have trouble getting along with people. Ironically, the closer I am to someone to whom I’m not related, the more difficulty I have getting along with them. This especially and particularly applies to my girlfriends. But people with whom I work and other people I barely know? If I have an issue with them, I’m never the only one who does–which indicates that person is the real problem.

3) As a black female, there is a part of me that doesn’t like to get bitchy with people, especially in front of other people and especially if those people are not black and/or are male. When men go off, it’s okay. When women go off, they’re being emotional. When black women go off, they’ve got an attitude problem or are “difficult.” In other words, as a black person and a woman, I inevitably become a stereotype. And whatever I say in anger may be correct and valid, but it gets lost in the stereotype and nobody cares what I say or said.

4) Admittedly, at my current job and at my previous job I take/have taken off work a lot and leave early a lot. At my previous job, it was largely because I had a bit of a health scare and was going to the doctor…and then it was because I was looking for another job. At my current job…my last post mentions how I went to Michigan for a football game a few weeks ago, and I wrote that I would have quit my job if I’d been told I had to work instead of going on my trip. That’s simply because, recently, my mentality has become that I don’t want my life to be work-eat-sleep. I’m not married, don’t have kids, don’t have obligations other than student loans. I want to spend as much of my time as possible doing things that are worth it and things I like to do, and being at work is not one of those things. The Michigan trip was incredible, and I need to do things like that more often–I don’t need to sit around saying, “I can’t take off work” like I used to do. I cried off and on for a while when I left Michigan–at the airport, on the plane, at home–which means I am not there enough…I definitely miss it, so the trip would have been worth my job. I focus on doing my job well and completely when I’m there, and then I leave when I don’t have anymore work to do.

All that out of the way, allow me to connect the dots. There’s this @sshole at work. He’s Filipino. He’s a lazy fuck who spends 25% of the work day messing with his iPhone instead of working and another 30% of the work day completely away from his workstation instead of working–including longer-than-allowed lunch breaks. And he’s the type of guy–I think we all know him–who doesn’t run schitt but really is self-important and badly wants to run schitt…and, thus, acts as if he runs schitt when he doesn’t. I thought only white guys did this, but I was wrong. Oh, and he’s not just an @sshole–he acts like a little bitch. He whines. He goes on and on long after he should. And he will run and tell, even though he’s in his mid-40s.

I mentioned here when I first started that job that I don’t have a lot of work to do. That’s still true so many days. At some point, to get more work my work friend Clara–who is really now more like my best friend, work or no work–showed me how to do part of her job and I do that. She has shown me more and more, until now I know how to do most of what she does and do most of it. So, she had to find work to do and started helping Lazy Fuck and this other chick, Sharon, with their work–which I think she did mainly to help Sharon, who usually has a lot of work and is friends with Clara (Clara, Sharon and I hang out, but, really, I only consider Clara my friend). When I would run out of work, I started helping Lazy Fuck and Sharon, too. This was before I knew we could get away with going home early, to be honest with you. I am fine with helping others, to a degree, but I’d rather be at home, frankly.

Lately, Lazy Fuck has been acting as if Clara and I work for him and as if we’re obligated to help him and Sharon. He acts like this even if we have other work to do, especially with Clara. One day last week, I had almost finished my work, looked around and saw that there didn’t really seem to be much work left for others to do–including Lazy Fuck (LF). So, I decided I’d go home when I was done. LF comes over and asks me to help him. The amount of work he had was nothing he couldn’t handle with the amount of time left in the day, so, basically, this @ss was wanting me to do his work while he goes and socializes with other Filipinos or is nowhere to be found, like usual. So, I said I was leaving, and he started questioning me about what time I arrived at work like he was my boss and telling me he wants me to stay and help from now on.

That’s when I started getting pissed, but I didn’t say anything. Clara and I basically do him a favor–we don’t work for him, and our supervisors never told us we’re supposed to do the kind of work with which we help LF and Sharon. On top of it, like I wrote before, he spends more than 50% of the day not actually working. So, naturally, Clara (who is also Asian) and I start talking about all of this because LF was getting more and more persistent and harassing about “helping” him and Sharon, even when they don’t have a lot of work.

The next time he approached me about helping, he wouldn’t take no for an answer, even though I told him I had other work to do. I tried to ignore him, I really did–but he wouldn’t shut up or leave me alone. So I blasted his @ss, because I decided that I wasn’t about to put up with being harassed on a regular basis. And that didn’t even include telling him about how lazy he is and how he needs to do his own work, which I wish I had remembered to include. I basically told him 1) I don’t want to hear that “team work”/”help others” schitt because that’s bullschitt–plenty of people around there don’t help other people, and he doesn’t ask anyone else to “help” except for me and Clara, 2) he ain’t no-fucking-body, so he needs to quit giving me orders and get the fuck out my face, and 3) when I decide to help out at work I make the choice on where I help, unless my actual supervisors tell me otherwise. No means no. Now take the curse words out, and that’s pretty spot-on what I told him…but “get the fuck out of my face” was unmistakably in my voice.

So far, intended result achieved. So, it was worth it. And if I have to do it again, I will.

But Clara harped on it all day after I did it because she was shocked, including “joking” about me killing everyone at work, and Sharon was making indirect comments implying that I should have just ignored LF and needed to calm down or I overreacted. No, Sharon’s just a fucking wimp who, apparently, will put up with being harassed by people. And Clara was probably shocked, as was LF when I told him to go away (yes, I actually said that–twice), because people make assumptions about quiet people. “Quiet” doesn’t mean I won’t curse you out when you deserve it. It doesn’t mean I will let you run over me, either, especially given that I want most people to fuck off to begin with. Clara doesn’t believe me when I tell her I don’t like people, and I remember she told me about a month or so ago that I am just “shy” and have “trouble expressing” myself. Err…no. There was absolutely no trouble with expression when I lit into LF.

Listen, people–especially women–it’s okay to speak up and not take bullschitt. Most of the time, it works out for the best when you let people know bullschitt time is over. Every time I can recall going off on someone in the past few years, I’ve gotten my way as a result (except romantic relationships, and sometimes even then). So, so what if some people see me as an overly-emotional woman or a black bitch? It’s better than being, as I said, a wimp who tries to justify it by saying “just ignore it.” Ignoring problems doesn’t make them go away. Sometimes you can talk things out with people rationally and get your way, but sometimes you can’t or you’re put in a position where you snap. And with some men, you have to be a complete @ss for them to get the message–and I think LF was one…especially since he still harasses Clara the same way he used to harass me.

And don’t be like so many people who talk about what they’re going to do and then they never stand up to anyone, or who complain to everyone and never do anything about it. Clara does both of these things, in my opinion, though she tells people off to some degree–just not like I do it.

Clara has said before that she likes to be liked, and I’m sure that’s why a lot of people don’t “start” mess. Of course, I don’t really give a fuck about being liked–I’m the wrong race and wrong sexual orientation (and the wrong race/sex combination) to care about that kind of schitt anyways, so plenty of people–probably most–already don’t like me. Plus, it’s not as if I like them. But you–you win some, you lose some. Not everyone will like you, and they don’t have to. So, don’t keep making excuses and putting up with garbage.

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Saying Good Morning Pt. 2

Hehe. So, something interesting happened at work after I posted a couple of days ago about saying “Good Morning” and how not everyone is receptive to it along with my six reasons for why I don’t like saying it. I don’t know if my co-worker found my blog or what, but here is the story:

The very next day, he came in and said “Good Morning” to me like usual and I responded to him. He comes in an hour after I do. But an hour after he came in, he walked by me and said “Good Morning” again. Now, one of the reasons why people saying “Good Morning” annoys me where I work now is because sometimes it does feel as if people forget that they say “Good Morning,” which just shows how disingenuous they’re being in the first place when they say it (still, they get angry if you don’t respond–makes no sense)…or they’re saying it to way too many people and can’t keep up (you don’t have to say it to every gotdamn person you see, particularly if you work around a whole bunch of people like we do). They say it just to say it and then say it again, but it makes extra “Good Mornings” to respond to on top of the 600 million other ones.

So, when he said it again, I didn’t say anything–just kind of looked at him because I was thinking to myself something like, “Okay…didn’t this dude already say this to me? Does he not remember?” Now, note that, as usual, I’ve got my earphones in…I’m listening to my favorite sports talk show, “The Herd” with Colin Cowherd. Colin Time is pretty sacred whenever I get it, unless it’s just boring at the moment–which it was not at this moment, because he had one of my favorite college football analysts Kirk Herbstreit on (yes, even though he’s an Ohio State Buckeye and I’m a Michigan Wolverine). As a matter of fact, I get crazy when it comes to sports, period.

Plus, as I’ve written before, to me, when people have earphones in or headphones on, that is a clear “don’t talk to me” sign–I still don’t know why other people haven’t realized this one yet, but it seems that if I want people to start talking to me the surest way is to put earphones in and turn on something I want to hear. I just think it’s rude to start trying to talk to people when they’re listening to something, unless it’s important. It’s barely different from interrupting a conversation, the way I see it.

Anyway, then my co-worker walked by some of my work friends and said “Good Morning”. Because I had my earphones in, I could only hear a bit…but I remember him saying “Good Morning” a whole bunch of times, just almost forcefully. I believe they responded, since they are the kind of people who would. Then my co-worker turned back to me and said “Good Morning” with emphasis and stared at me, waiting. This reminded me of that loathsome discussion thread to which I linked in my previous post, because some of those people seem to think that if someone doesn’t respond to them that means they should keep harping on it and try to force a response.

I just kind of looked at him again, because I was thinking, “Dude, what the hell…?” Then I pointed out this was the third time he has said that to me. And he was like, “But you didn’t respond.” And I was like, “Um, hello? You said it to me when you first came in and I said it back.” At this point, I’m missing half of what my man Kirk is saying on Colin’s show. And he says, “Does it matter how many times I say it?” And I’m like, “Um, yeah. You don’t see me listening with these earphones?” He was like, “Is that more important?” Well, you know what they say–“Well, you asked.” I don’t bullschitt people who aren’t close to me when they ask a question and I know they’re not going to like the answer, so I honestly said “yes.”

Given that I’d already actually said “Good Morning” to this co-worker, despite everything I wrote in my last post about hating the “Good Morning” thing, sorry–it might seem harsh, but yeah, on the 2nd and 3rd time, my sports show was more important. And yeah, given that I hate the “Good Morning” thing, on the 2nd and 3rd time–and with the “do not disturb” sign that is the iPhone earphones (earpods), too–I was going to lose my schitt. And frankly, the first time he said it I was listening to a sports show, and I responded. So, that’s not even why I looked at him like he was nuts without responding the last two times he said it. It was just weird to me.

My good work friend Clara mentioned it to me later on, and she thought he was acting weird, too. Now, Clara is not like me–she loves to socialize, she initiates “Good Morning”s with people and she knows everyone at this warehouse. And still, she basically said it was too early in the morning to be walking around yelling about “Good Morning” multiple times–which is what he did when he said “Good Morning” to her and my other work friends–and that people are barely awake as early as we get to work. She pointed out that he never does that, that usually he says it once in a normal voice and moves along, which is true and acceptable.

And then today, I noticed he never said “Good Morning” to me, which is cool–one less to deal with. Clara told me he said it to her and that it was normal like he usually does it, not all loud and repeated. She said she told him he was acting loud and weird with that stuff, which is “why life.overrated was mad at you” and I laughed. I wasn’t mad at him, but he was annoying the hell out of me and I still don’t know what all my man Kirk said on Colin’s show.

Now, even though we thought this co-worker was acting weird that one day, there are people who run around all loud first thing in the morning with this “Good Morning” business…like, almost literally, run. It’s 7am, and they’re power walking, wide awake, “Good Morning”-ing everyone to death. Even Clara, as sociable and, for lack of a better word, friendly as she is (and I put it like that because she’s like a very sociable version of me as far as saying whatever the hell she wants, even if it’s not nice or PC), needs time in the mornings. Half the time she looks like a b!tch for a good hour in her facial expressions and barely says anything, let alone “Good Morning.” She is not miserable, grumpy or unhappy as a person, but she is, quite understandably, that way for a while in the morning sometimes. We have fun the rest of the day, just not in the mornings.

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The Cheerful vs The Sleepyheads: Saying Good Morning

[To learn 6 reasons why someone might not like to say “Good Morning,” feel free to skip down to the bold print]

I am not always particularly grouchy when I’m sick, but this time around I am. I have been an @ss this week at work, which is what keeping this blog is supposed to prevent. I am quite a bit more “leave me the hell alone”-ish than usual, which means I’m not going to bother acting with co-workers the way I normally do. One of the things I can’t begin to fake this week is all this “Good Morning” bullschitt.

I remember sitting in my sister’s house in Chicago a couple of weeks ago, whining to her and my mother about how I can’t stand all that “Good Morning,” “Good Morning,” “Good Morning” nonsense I face when I get to work. This was never really anything that annoyed me until I began my current job. I mean…my previous job, for example, was in a corporate environment. People would come in and go to their cubicles and maybe screw around for a bit before they actually started to work. A couple of people might say “Good Morning” to me, but not many. Because it was so few people, I could muster enough energy to at least nod.

My current job is at a big warehouse, where we work on all kinds of electronics. We work in sections…you know, you sit by the people who have the same manager as you. There are maybe 11 or 12 people in my section, and it’s not even just these people who want to say “Good Morning” and receive a response–it’s, like, almost every-fucking-person in the warehouse. Man, I can’t hang, and now “Good Morning” makes me want to pull my hair out.

Being sick, today I was basically like, “Fuck this schitt,” and ignored some people. Then, being sick, it’s not as if I feel like doing any work or am particularly scared of getting fired (because at least I can go get in the bed)…so I did what I always do when I get intellectually curious about a topic and whipped out the ole SG3 and googled people’s opinions on this “Good Morning” schitt.

Once again, I find a huge gap in understanding between people who aren’t into “Good Morning” and people who like to say it. You know me–I like to try and bridge these lack of understandings.

So, let’s talk about this discussion thread where, like, 90% of the responders are overreacting about people not saying “Good Morning” back to them. I’ll provide a few quotes and then respond.

Lately, it has apparently become OK to be really rude to coworkers, especially first thing in the mornings.
I have a few coworkers that won’t say a damn thing when I greet them in the morning. They’ll look right at me, and they definitely hear me, but they don’t say a word–not even a “go to hell” from them.
Am I getting worked up over nothing? I don’t have thin skin, and I’m not particularly a morning person myself. But I do think it’s common courtesy to be polite to folks.

Well, is it rude? Maybe. I’m sure I have greeted or acknowledged someone before and they didn’t respond or acted as if they didn’t see/know me, and I’m sure I felt the person was an @ss. But you know what? I just told myself not to greet/acknowledge that person again and shook it off. One of my mottos in life is to treat people the way they treat you. I take my cues from other people when it comes to social interaction, meaning I will do what they do to me only, which means I act different ways with different people and treat everyone differently. I read personalities. And I act and react accordingly.

So, basically, my thought is you don’t have to say “Good Morning” to everyone. If you like to say “Good Morning,” I think you should say it to the people who seem receptive to it and simply leave other people be without getting offended or too offended. It is simply a personality difference.

Along the same lines…

Just my opinion here, but i always feel a “Vibe” from people who are deliberately being rude. I would prefer to get along with everyone(Especially in a working envoirnment), but it’s just not realistic. There will always be people that are not happy no matter what. In this particular case, i wouldn’t say a word after they ignorned me. And i also wouldn’t say “Good morning” or much else to them unless it was required for a task at work. Shrug it off, and consider it one less “personality” to put up with.
It’s one of 2 things. Either they don’t hear you, which you stated you don’t think is the case. Or they don’t respect you enough to be polite. If i respect someone, i do my best to be polite even when i’m in a bad mood(Aka morning time).

There are a lot of comments in that thread where people talk about those who don’t respond or don’t respond “correctly” as being rude, miserable, grumpy, unhappy, disrespectful, hateful…or whatever. Not saying “Good Morning” doesn’t always have anything to do with these things. It doesn’t mean you can’t get along with this person. This person just doesn’t want to, for whatever reason, say “Good Morning.” I will provide several of my own reasons in a little bit. But a lot of these responses are people reading too much into someone’s lack of response, and reading incorrectly, might I add.

Look, I’m from the South, so I believe in good manners. But there’s a fine line between manners (or if you want to call it “polite”/”common courtesy”) and trying to force something on people, which is why I say to greet the people who are open to it and leave others alone. If you keep greeting people who never greet you with an expectation regarding behavior, then you are moving over from having good manners to trying to force someone to respond the way you want them to based on your thought processes…and you can’t force people to do anything. You might think everyone should say “Good Morning,” but not everyone believes that. I’m not going to go to New York and lecture people about how they need to do things us Southerners believe is right because it’s what we were taught growing up. Indeed, I adjusted to how people behaved in the Midwest when I lived there and didn’t get on the internet all offended because it wasn’t the case that 80% of all strangers were grinning in my face like they do in the South. My sister and I talked about it when we both lived in the Midwest, and she used to think people in the Midwest were rude. But after being there 10 years I think she has adjusted, as well.

In other words, what you might consider “common courtesy” is still an opinion and a belief system–it’s far from being American culture or the law. There will always be people who don’t subscribe to what you think is common. I wonder how these “Good Morning” people would feel if I said I think they are complete annoying morons for being so damn happy early in the morning, which is totally what I think. It wouldn’t be tolerated, even though they expect us to tolerate them and the opinions in that thread. Still, I’m not the one whose opinion when they say “Good Morning” makes me damn-near want to report them to my manager and never speak to them again. It’s crazy.

I dont like the grumpy morning people, but it seems like many people are grumpy in the morning. So i just let it slide.
Funny thing is, most of the grumpy people are NON-coffee drinkers.
Maybe they should try a 1/2 cup in the morning. hahaha

Yeah, no. It’s true, I don’t drink coffee…and I’m not about to. Coffee not only tastes bad, but it makes your breath stink. Yeah, I said (wrote) it. Your breath stinks, coffee guzzler. Plus, like I’m really about to start drinking nasty-@ss coffee to accommodate your need to hear “Good Morning” back from me. Get a life, because this is why I think you’re a moron–you want me to change to accommodate you. There are plenty of people willing to say “Good Morning” to you, so fuck off the ones who aren’t.

Boy, if that’s the biggest problem you have at work I’d say count your blessings and enjoy your good fortune…

I mean, seriously. And you people think I like to complain about nothing.

So, why don’t I want to say “Good Morning” to you?

1) First and foremost, there’s no such thing as a “good morning.” In other words, “I’m not a morning person.” But “there’s no such thing” is far more accurate, to me. There is absolutely nothing to be happy about at 7am, people. Fair point about being happy to see another day, but, then again, it’s not as if I’m life’s biggest fan, in case you couldn’t tell by the name of my blog.

Now, does not believing in good mornings make me a grumpy @sshole in general? Not really. You just need to wait to say “Good Morning” to me until, at the earliest, 10am. In fact, not only do I not want to say “Good Morning” to you as soon as I step foot in the door, I don’t want to say anything to you. I want to find a nice little four-wall enclosure and hide in it. Has nothing to do with not liking you, respect, or anything but not understanding why in the hell work starts so fucking early and lasts so fucking long. Baby, at 7, 8 and 9am, I am still mentally, vocally and emotionally asleep. Get over it.

2) I don’t have the energy. For one thing, it doesn’t matter what time I go to sleep, I am a night owl by nature…so I physically will not be “all there” in the mornings, no matter what. Add to that 50 million people wanting a greeting, and I really don’t have the energy.

This point about energy is especially important for the “just be polite and say it back” crowd. Anytime you’re being, doing, saying something you don’t mean, it takes more energy than being sincere. Being fake is a lot of work, and I should know because I don’t naturally fit any of the “supposed to”s when it comes to personality at work. I have to spend so much of my day pretending and talking when I don’t feel like it, and that’s already for the sake of what other people want from me since it matters so much in keeping your job nowadays. So, if you’re asking me to be a little more fake first thing in the morning, basically 30-45 minutes after I’ve woken up, put energy I don’t have into getting ready for and getting to work, and already not being a morning person…it’s not going to happen…especially not with the quantity of people expecting it.

3) I think there’s a difference here between people who like their job and people who don’t, or at least people who like the people at their job. If you wake up in the morning happy to go to work, you’re more likely to be a “Good Morning” person. If you wake up in the morning liking what you do, same thing. If you wake up knowing you’re about to interact with and have some laughs with this person or that person, same thing.

My personal philosophy is work is work; it’s nothing to like. I can’t deal with hating a job or a job that makes me physically ill, which is how my last two jobs were (migraines every day). But there’s never going to be anything that makes me want to get up in the morning and go to work, as far as a job. I would always rather get up and watch “Mike & Mike” and “The Herd” on ESPN–always. The closest I’ve gotten to hopping up out the bed happy in the morning to go to work is when I had a co-worker on whom I had a crush, and that was years ago. I have friends at work and everything, but I can so do without them. People who thrive on social interaction far more than I do will look forward to seeing their work friends more than I do. I wake up saying, “I can’t wait to come home”…and that’s before I even leave the house (or the bed). [Shrugs]

4) If you have a problem with people who don’t respond to “Good Morning,” think about how many people are at your job. I’ve mentioned quantity several times. If someone is like me, i.e. not outgoing or very sociable, or not into mornings, having several different people come by expecting you to talk to them gets so…annoying. As I mentioned, there’s only so much energy you can gather if you don’t have it. Speaking to 15 different people in the first hour or so of work is exhausting if it’s not naturally your thing. So remember, you’re not the only one coming at this person.

5) What I really don’t get and can’t stand is…I’m sure some of these people who are throwing a huge fit about people not responding to “Good Morning” are people who never speak to you otherwise throughout the day. In that case, I especially don’t feel I “owe” you any effort or speech in the morning. For me, people who work in my section are different from these other people who walk by throughout the day. My friends are different, and people who have been very nice or helpful to me since I’ve been at this place are different. I am far more likely to scrounge up the energy to say something to people in my section, my friends and people who have done something for me. I don’t fucking know all these other people, which is all the more reason for them to not throw a hissy fit. So, if you’re losing it over some very random person not acknowledging you, you really need to stop and smell the nasty-@ss coffee.

6) Almost forgot…this stuff about “common courtesy,” being rude or polite, etc…these same people whining, I’m sure, do plenty of things that others can consider rude and don’t do other things that people consider common courtesy–things that are probably more important than saying “Good Morning.” The most common thing I see people do, which I think is rude and inconsiderate, is linger in the way. Sometimes people look right in your face and then continue barely moving when you’re trying to get somewhere. When I was in school, students commonly hogged sidewalks and doorways and never thought anything of it all the while others are needing to get by. Today, one of those “Good Morning” b!tches did this, and in the mood I’m in this week I know I said out loud something like, “Gosh, get the fuck…out…of…the…way“…just don’t know if it was loud enough to be heard, as I had my earphones in my ears playing music.

Different strokes…she appreciates a “Good Morning” while I appreciate people moving their self-centered @sses when they see other people in need of the same space. That’s all.

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When Sharing Crosses the Line

You know, they say best friends share everything. Well, my work bff Clara took that saying just a little too far and shared her sickness with me. I ought to serve her right and stay home from work tomorrow so she will have to do my job and hers.

Except I can’t really stay home tomorrow. I left work early Friday because I felt sick, and the week before that I was off because I went to Chicago. And next week I’ll be going to Michigan. Plus, all this taking off and spending money on trips means I need all the money I can get–that Michigan trip has been expensive as hell to plan since it includes an expensive-@ss football ticket, an expensive-@ss hotel room, plane tickets, a shuttle from Detroit to Ann Arbor (and back) and will eventually include food costs. Seriously, if I told you how much I have spent so far, especially if you’re not a sports fan, you’d think I was nuts (if you don’t already). Alas, this is the price you pay for being a diehard fan and a loyal alum–especially one who lives in a totally different region from her team/alma mater.

So, I will be dragging it into work tomorrow morning, probably getting more people sick like Clara did with me. That Michigan trip is so going to be worth it–I really can’t wait, and I’m glad I got sick now and not then since I knew it was coming, despite trying to avoid it. I always get sick around this time every year, July-August-September. I’ll never forget being sick on the first day of class in law school my first year of law school, and you can’t miss the first day. And last year I was sick the first weekend of college football/labor day weekend, when people at work acted as if I extended a 3-day weekend into a 4-day weekend merely for the hell of it. No, I was being tortured by mucous. Oh, and of course there was the bar exam debacle…well, let’s not talk about that one.

Man, I tell ya–when you’re sick, you just want to be in bed, take meds (depending on whether you’re one of those people who does or one of those weirdos who refuses to take them), sleep, watch TV (or in my case, play music all day, as I’ve done all weekend–TV is taking too much focusing). And doesn’t it always feel as if you’re either being burned alive or frozen to death (unfortunately for me, I prefer “frozen to death” but am dealing with “burned alive” and the sweaty yuckiness that accompanies it)?

‘Tis the season for illness, so steer clear of that hacking, sniffling co-worker who felt the need to bring his/her @ss to work anyways.

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The Surprise

I’m trying to figure out what on earth goes through the mind of someone who thinks it’s a good idea to surprise someone. I’m talking about real surprises, big surprises–not little things like bringing someone his/her favorite food without that person expecting it. I mean stuff that draws a crowd/eyeballs or puts someone on the spot. I think there are people out there who believe everyone likes surprises. But rest assured, I most certainly do not.

So, I was at work today, trying hard to get schitt done. Since I started working this job, there have been more things I’ve realized that I don’t like about it…one being that it’s hard to tell from day to day how busy it’s going to be. You can walk in and there’s absolutely nothing to do; the next day you can get slammed. Today we were slammed. I’m a work-life balance kind of chick, so you can forget about me staying late regardless of the fact that I’d get paid overtime. Free time > money in my world. So I was rushing to make sure I’d finish my work on time.

I was in the middle of hard work, and my eyes quickly moved across the room in that way it does when I’m not actually seeing anything–it just means I’m in a hurry and very focused. In a blur, I saw a lady and did a double take. It really was the chick from my employment agency. Still distracted, I greeted her and went back to work. Then she said they came to see me. I looked back up, and this time I noticed she was with another chick from the agency, as well as my manager.

Naturally, I thought I was about to get fired or receive a talking-to about something. Come to think of it, getting fired probably would have been preferable to what actually happened.

My employment agency was having some kind of drawing, and it turns out I won. I won a bunch of bullschitt and a very little bit of money…very little bit. Wouldn’t pay for me and a date to have a proper dining experience, to be honest with you. Whatever, they could have just, like, dropped my schitt off at the front door or left it with my manager or something.

But noooooo…they had to turn it into a big thing, all game-show-y and crap…over some bullschitt and pocket change. They did two of the worst things you can do to me–made me take photos and drew a lot of attention to me. And as if that wasn’t enough, they’re actually going to send these photos out to people! Look, if I dodge cameras when family members pull them out, why would I want to take pics for my employer and then have them sent to more non-familial people? I mean, not one family member of mine has a recent pic of me. My sister in Chicago whipped out the ole cell phone as we were leaving on Sunday, and, naturally, I had to throw a quick hand up like always on these little family visits. I do not take pics–what do people not get about this?

I daydream a lot about being famous. I’ve done it all my life, literally–every single day of my life since I can remember. As I wrote in another post a while back, I used to want to be an actress when I was a kid. I wrote scripts and performed them. Then I moved on to music and spent several years working on a music career that never really materialized…thankfully. Ever since I left school, whenever I play basketball I pretend I am playing for real, like in the WNBA, and just kind of regret not caring enough about playing ball when I was in school and still could have had some kind of opportunity. For a while, I played bball every day and just pretended as if I was in a big game, making all the big plays.

And then there’s the one thing for which I’ve always actually been destined, even when I thought I wanted to be a psychologist, doctor, lawyer, sports writer and now an IT professional–to write a book. Just about everyone who knows me knows that someday I will be writing books for a living (key phrase is “for a living”–I have written plenty of books, most of which haven’t been seen or read by anyone). I don’t tell them–in fact, as far back as 3rd grade, people have been telling me that’s what I would do. I was recently told that I should write a book, as well, for the 50 millionth time from the 50 millionth person. I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not to publish under my name, and now I see that if I want to maintain my sanity, no, I shouldn’t.

Gawd, I would so hate being famous. Even just a little bit of attention for my work would be entirely too much, which is why I say “thankfully” in regards to my music career that wasn’t. I would be one of those celebs who is a total @ss to the media and would whine about my [lack of] privacy all the time and how horrible it is to have fame. I do not like attention at all, unless on an one-on-one basis. Dude, a crowd actually gathered at work to see this totally unnecessary presentation for winning a simple drawing, and I just wanted to figure out how to end everything without being a rude b!tch. And then I had people I didn’t know coming up to me about it, people whining because they didn’t win, people “joking” about wanting a piece of the money. I seriously thought about just giving the money to one of them and being done with it–it really isn’t enough money for people to have an attitude because they didn’t win or to be harassing me about paying for their lunch.

This is not at all how I wanted my day to go, nor was it how I wanted to spend my day–being embarrassed surprised in front of everyone and then talking about it with a bunch of people the rest of the day. Hopefully tomorrow I will be back in my anonymous hole where I belong.

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