The Surprise

I’m trying to figure out what on earth goes through the mind of someone who thinks it’s a good idea to surprise someone. I’m talking about real surprises, big surprises–not little things like bringing someone his/her favorite food without that person expecting it. I mean stuff that draws a crowd/eyeballs or puts someone on the spot. I think there are people out there who believe everyone likes surprises. But rest assured, I most certainly do not.

So, I was at work today, trying hard to get schitt done. Since I started working this job, there have been more things I’ve realized that I don’t like about it…one being that it’s hard to tell from day to day how busy it’s going to be. You can walk in and there’s absolutely nothing to do; the next day you can get slammed. Today we were slammed. I’m a work-life balance kind of chick, so you can forget about me staying late regardless of the fact that I’d get paid overtime. Free time > money in my world. So I was rushing to make sure I’d finish my work on time.

I was in the middle of hard work, and my eyes quickly moved across the room in that way it does when I’m not actually seeing anything–it just means I’m in a hurry and very focused. In a blur, I saw a lady and did a double take. It really was the chick from my employment agency. Still distracted, I greeted her and went back to work. Then she said they came to see me. I looked back up, and this time I noticed she was with another chick from the agency, as well as my manager.

Naturally, I thought I was about to get fired or receive a talking-to about something. Come to think of it, getting fired probably would have been preferable to what actually happened.

My employment agency was having some kind of drawing, and it turns out I won. I won a bunch of bullschitt and a very little bit of money…very little bit. Wouldn’t pay for me and a date to have a proper dining experience, to be honest with you. Whatever, they could have just, like, dropped my schitt off at the front door or left it with my manager or something.

But noooooo…they had to turn it into a big thing, all game-show-y and crap…over some bullschitt and pocket change. They did two of the worst things you can do to me–made me take photos and drew a lot of attention to me. And as if that wasn’t enough, they’re actually going to send these photos out to people! Look, if I dodge cameras when family members pull them out, why would I want to take pics for my employer and then have them sent to more non-familial people? I mean, not one family member of mine has a recent pic of me. My sister in Chicago whipped out the ole cell phone as we were leaving on Sunday, and, naturally, I had to throw a quick hand up like always on these little family visits. I do not take pics–what do people not get about this?

I daydream a lot about being famous. I’ve done it all my life, literally–every single day of my life since I can remember. As I wrote in another post a while back, I used to want to be an actress when I was a kid. I wrote scripts and performed them. Then I moved on to music and spent several years working on a music career that never really materialized…thankfully. Ever since I left school, whenever I play basketball I pretend I am playing for real, like in the WNBA, and just kind of regret not caring enough about playing ball when I was in school and still could have had some kind of opportunity. For a while, I played bball every day and just pretended as if I was in a big game, making all the big plays.

And then there’s the one thing for which I’ve always actually been destined, even when I thought I wanted to be a psychologist, doctor, lawyer, sports writer and now an IT professional–to write a book. Just about everyone who knows me knows that someday I will be writing books for a living (key phrase is “for a living”–I have written plenty of books, most of which haven’t been seen or read by anyone). I don’t tell them–in fact, as far back as 3rd grade, people have been telling me that’s what I would do. I was recently told that I should write a book, as well, for the 50 millionth time from the 50 millionth person. I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not to publish under my name, and now I see that if I want to maintain my sanity, no, I shouldn’t.

Gawd, I would so hate being famous. Even just a little bit of attention for my work would be entirely too much, which is why I say “thankfully” in regards to my music career that wasn’t. I would be one of those celebs who is a total @ss to the media and would whine about my [lack of] privacy all the time and how horrible it is to have fame. I do not like attention at all, unless on an one-on-one basis. Dude, a crowd actually gathered at work to see this totally unnecessary presentation for winning a simple drawing, and I just wanted to figure out how to end everything without being a rude b!tch. And then I had people I didn’t know coming up to me about it, people whining because they didn’t win, people “joking” about wanting a piece of the money. I seriously thought about just giving the money to one of them and being done with it–it really isn’t enough money for people to have an attitude because they didn’t win or to be harassing me about paying for their lunch.

This is not at all how I wanted my day to go, nor was it how I wanted to spend my day–being embarrassed surprised in front of everyone and then talking about it with a bunch of people the rest of the day. Hopefully tomorrow I will be back in my anonymous hole where I belong.

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