My Entertainment At Work

So, my new job is boring as hell. There is no work for me to do. Is it miles and miles better than my previous, oh, three jobs? Absolutely…although I must say that if I’m going to wake up early in the morning and ride out to the boonies and be forced to remain there for 9 or so hours, ya kinda need to have some reason for me to do this. If I’m going to be anywhere doing nothing, I’d rather it be at home. Plus, I still don’t even have a computer at work to slack off properly. And I can’t use my cell phone for slacking-off purposes quite as much as I’d like to because the battery life sucks.

So how to take advantage of the fact that I now get paid to do nothing?

In my last post, I broke down some of my new co-workers. I mentioned that I could already tell that either Linda or Clara would end up my “best work friend.” At this point, I’d say it’s Clara. Clara is just a complete character. She keeps me entertained with stories about men and looking up funny stuff on the internet. The afternoons are quickly becoming YouTube comedy time. Yesterday, we were watching videos of celebrities falling. We watched the clip of Beyonce falling down stairs during a performance several times, and we laughed until we cried. It’s not something I’d normally laugh at–in fact, I’ve seen the video before and told her about it, and that’s why she looked it up–but Clara thought it was hilarious, and her reaction is what made it so funny.

When I mentioned Clara in my co-worker breakdown, I mentioned that she’s Asian but there is blackness to her personality/speech. So, I asked her somewhat indirectly if she grew up around black people. It turns out she grew up around white people in a typical “strict” Asian family. Okay…how in the hell did she get to be “black” then? Usually, when Asian people grow up around white people, they turn out…white-washed. And contrary to popular belief, I don’t think that’s automatically the norm (as is often argued as to why certain people only date a particular race that is not their own), because it’s more hit-or-miss for black people who grow up around white people. Just because you grow up around white people as a racial minority doesn’t mean you turn out a certain way. Some of it is about the mentality of the individual (for example, how badly do you want to fit in with your environment’s norm), some of it is about what messages they’re receiving at home, some of it is about how brainwashed they become by the messages they receive from society and the media. I think these things combined tend to steer Asians in predominantly white environments towards becoming “white” more often than not. They certainly don’t combine to make them “black.”

What Clara told me is “I grew up around white people…so I know how they think.” Now, usually, when I say something like that, I mean something along the lines of…”Yeah, I know white people are full of schitt.” Just being honest with you. Or “Yeah, I know they’re lame.” Or “Yeah, I know they’re racist.” Not like black people aren’t racist (or full of schitt), but still…she likes “black music,” has kind of a “black accent,” has a black boyfriend and her kid looks like he’s “half-black.” I told her she seems more black, and she just laughed. And then she started kind of trying to argue with me, almost the typical PC bullschitt, like “Oh, black people aren’t the only ones who know about [XYZ].” Um, yes, we are, haha. And she told me one of our other black male co-workers told her she’s a “fake Oriental” (she actually refers to herself and her family as Oriental…one of these days, I’m going to explain to her than “Oriental” describes objects, not people). So, I’m not the only one who noticed.

And she has guys left and right! She has all these crazy stories about guys who are after her, and then she shows me proof–like crazy text messages at 3am and Facebook comments! And there’s this guy at work, who I actually used to work with where I did repairs before, who is after her, and another co-worker and I just tease her about it all day long.

I think I’m realizing that men and lesbians have different taste in women, except for the moronic lesbians who only like straight women (well, and heartache and wanting what they can’t have, not to mention being completely brainwashed by society and not trying to do a damn thing about it). I just sit at work and look at Clara like, “I don’t get this.” In fact, most women I know who have men practically stalking them all the time, I just don’t get it. Now, with my best friend, I do and don’t get it. She has blonde hair, blue eyes, she’s tiny, she’s an actress and looks the part…I know that’s what our society likes, but it does nothing for me. In fact, I don’t think there are any big-name Hollywood women who do it for me. But, trust me–there’s nothing special about the way Clara looks. And anyone who has even just one kid gets an automatic big, loud “time’s up” buzzer, no matter how she looks. I’m also not sure I could get with a non-black person who is blacker than I am…just…don’t know about that. [shrugs]

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