Monthly Archives: June 2013

Last Day of Work

It’s a great feeling to be done with tech support as a job. The only thing is, much like the last job I left, I am leaving a lot of people I’d rather not have to leave. I remember writing a long time ago in my blog that I didn’t think I’d ever really develop “work friends” at this company, but I definitely did. Even with employees who worked in other cities, some of them felt like work friends. As I wrote a couple of posts ago, I feel sorry for these people because I know they’re not going to get the same quality of tech assistance, at least not for a while. I also know some will seek me out and learn I no longer work there, and I know some will wonder why they don’t hear from me anymore.

I sent out an email on Friday to several people, most of them in the IT department, who helped make my difficult job at least somewhat easier and let them know I appreciated it. Most of them didn’t know I was leaving. My supervisor had only told the people whom it directly affected, and I didn’t tell anyone except New Tech because we talked about getting the hell off tech support all the time. I got several nice responses back. A couple of people came to see me.

At the end of the day, I stayed late and spoke with a couple of people. One of the guys I was talking to knows the whole story with Lazy Tech and how my supervisor wouldn’t give me back the position I enjoyed, etc. He told the other people to whom we were speaking that I basically got screwed. He has told me a bit before about how he had a hard time getting where he is in the company/IT department, but he had never told me that he contacted the EEOC about our company because of what he felt was discriminatory treatment. He basically told me that I was doing the right thing by leaving this company.

A couple of hours before that, my supervisor actually came up to me and said they didn’t want me to go but they’re happy for people when they find better opportunities, if I ever need anything to let him know, yada yada. If he didn’t want me to go, he could have easily found a way to keep me. Him and his supervisor went so far as to create a damn-near pointless position for a white guy–who now sits and texts on his iPhone or surfs one of the company iPads 75% of the time–they wanted to keep. I just wanted a position that I was basically told I would be doing when I first interviewed with him and actually had for about a month until he decided some lazy white guy who sucked at his job would be salvageable if he gave that job to him.

To be clear, I left not because of any perceived discrimination; I left because I reached my breaking point with tech support/help desk type of work. I’m not one of those dumb people who doesn’t get that racism still exists. I know it does, so it’s not surprising to me or particularly upsetting that this happened. I was looking for another job even before this happened, even before I ever was actually placed in the position I liked, because I didn’t like my job. I stopped for a while but started again when my supervisor gave Lazy Tech my job. New Tech feels that our supervisor refusing to give me back that job is a power trip, basically. I guess he doesn’t realize he lost and I won. He will start to realize that on Monday when schitt starts falling apart without me.

I hope New Tech makes matters worse and gets another job within the next few weeks, really fucking schitt up for my now-former supervisor. I’m going to get all the details from New Tech, too, because we exchanged contact info and he asked me to be a reference for him. So if he gets a job, I’m going to know about it. I already know he talked to Belinda and Belinda’s manager about the open positions in the Customer Service department, and he applied for those jobs, too. Belinda asked him if he was sure he was interested, probably because, as I wrote before, IT is generally better than anything in CS. She told him how much one of the positions pays (and, as I suspected, he’d be taking a pay cut), and she told him that he’d be interviewing with her if he is selected to interview. I don’t know if they’d want references since he already works at the company, but, I mean, Belinda and B’s manager both know me–especially B’s manager, whom I always helped several times a week. I would think my word would carry significant weight.

As far as B and I go…well, I only saw her on Tuesday and didn’t see her the rest of the week. I don’t know if she saw me or not because I looked away, so there was no smile/wave like normal. I did quickly glance around every day when I walked through the company restaurant to see if she was there but I never saw her other than Tuesday. Didn’t get any of her calls, either. I tried to cyber-stalk her, if you will, but she basically has no online presence. So, I can’t even add her on Facebook or LinkedIn. Of course, I have her company email address.

But I made the decision/realization that I’m not ready to date after several weeks of just envisioning all the bad ways trying to pursue anything with B could go. I don’t want to hurt anybody, and I most definitely don’t want to get hurt myself. So I need to stick to what I realized and just let the thought of B go. Easier said than done, but it needs to be done.

I’m probably as happy and stress-free as I’ve been in a long time, despite not getting to know B, just being done with answering phones and emails and all these annoying problems/people.

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Manic Monday

Yesterday I gave notice at work, but I gave it to the agency that placed me since they’re technically my employer. Immediately–like the minute I emailed them my notice–they started calling and emailing me. I mean, I happened to glance at my cell phone, and saw my recruiter’s name and number on the screen while I was in the middle of something. It’s just ridiculous how they always try to call me. I answer phones for a living all day for a corporation, and they know this–they placed me in the position. Why on earth do they think I can just take their calls on my personal cell phone whenever they feel like it?

So, when I didn’t answer, my recruiter emailed me the next minute asking me to call him. Then the other recruiter emailed me asking me to call him. Then my recruiter emailed me again, asking where I got a job. Then he tried to call my co-worker New Tech, who didn’t answer but told me they were calling him. These recruiters have a habit of contacting one of their other placed employees whom they know works near the one they’re trying to reach when they can’t get a response from the one they’re trying to reach–they’ve contacted me before trying to reach both Lazy Tech and New Tech. So, we knew they were probably calling New Tech to find out where I was or if I could call them.

New Tech and I were just dying laughing at the whole thing. I knew the agency didn’t expect me to find a job that quickly, or at all. It was just last Monday when they told me they’d spoken to my supervisor and he wouldn’t let me go back to the position I liked at the company. I told them I would find something else, then. I know they didn’t believe it. In fact, they scheduled a follow-up discussion for next Monday. Turns out next Monday I’ll be at my new job. I know they couldn’t believe it and that they’d want to know just how on earth I was able to get another job that fast. That’s why it was especially funny to New Tech and me when they emailed asking where I got a job.

By the time I called these guys one of them had told my supervisor. My supervisor still hasn’t said anything to me about it, the @sshole. He acts like nothing is happening. But New Tech told me he saw one of the recruiters today in the lobby. I told him they are probably talking about hiring someone to replace me on tech support, which wouldn’t even be necessary if the kid they brought in a couple of weeks ago had just been placed on tech support to begin with.

Obviously, my recruiter did ask me all kinds of questions about where I was going, how I found the job, etc. Even about how much it pays.

I got a bit of a surprise, though, because he sounded irritated last week when I reiterated I wanted to leave the company where he placed me…

He told me, “I don’t blame you one bit.” The way he said it, too…with emphasis, hit the “one bit” part pretty clear.

He knows that situation with my supervisor doing everything he could to keep Lazy Tech and nothing to accommodate me was bullschitt. For the record, my recruiter is Asian. I have found that Asians don’t usually side with black people when it comes to anything with racial undertones or even racially overt things, but he’s Filipino and Filipinos tend to be a little bit more…racially aware and black-friendly. New Tech and I also talked about how they would have gotten rid of a black person who acted like Lazy Tech did without all of that bending over backwards to prevent it…in part because my mother asked me if I had warned him, basically. Like I wrote before, I can definitely see New Tech’s inadequacies getting more exposed without my being there to pick up after him, and he’s African. They’re not going to put up with some of the issues he has for too long. If he can’t find another job fast enough, I see him getting fired eventually.

And with it being official that I’m out the door, New Tech has really started trying to step up finding another job…to the point where over the last two days he has just come across as desperate to me. Now he’s wanting to get out of IT altogether, saying it’s not his passion. He was talking about wanting to move into IT management. He is not management material, I can tell you that. Sure, plenty of managers suck–mine does–but there’s a difference between being a bad manager and just not having a manager’s personality. My manager is the type of guy you disrespect behind his back; New Tech is the type of guy you’d disrespect to his face. I would be the same way, I think–I know I am not “leader” material.

Today, New Tech actually took off work early to go interview with an insurance company. Um. All you’re going to do at an insurance company is sell insurance. Probably won’t get paid if you don’t, either. That’s the kind of job I looked at way back when I first got out of school and wasn’t hearing schitt back from employers and was desperate, so I know what those “interviews” are like. He has a wife and kids–you need something very stable in that situation, something with a weekly or bi-weekly paycheck guaranteed.

He also sits at work and looks at our company’s internal job postings on a regular basis, only now he is looking in the customer service department. Customer service? While there’s a CS component to working many IT jobs, CS is at least a step down from doing anything in IT, or at least the positions he might qualify for would be. And with the more entry-level jobs, which I’m sure is all he could really get, you’re going to get paid like it’s at least a step down. Maybe he thinks those jobs would be easier to get or something, but I can tell from speaking to him that he has unrealistic ideas about how much he’d get paid.

Still, Belinda is a CS supervisor at our company…so I smiled (thinking about her tends to bring a smile to my face or make me nervous) and suggested he talk to her about the job openings they have. Dude, I cannot imagine having to report to Belinda (although I’d probably love going to work all of a sudden). But New Tech seriously went looking for her so that he could talk to her about it.

By the way…the Belinda thing. I realize that now that I’m leaving my job, in a sense I have nothing to lose by approaching Belinda. Knowing this is my last week and that I probably won’t see her again unless an effort is made to do so, I’m a little bit torn. But I’m just not ready for several reasons, not just because I feel I still need to move on more from everything that happened with my “ex.” Also, given that Belinda is never alone–today I saw her with, like, four or five other people–I wouldn’t even know how to approach her. Plus, I have never approached a woman before, at least not out of the blue. I always get approached.

And speaking of the “ex,” I thought she no longer read my blog but maybe she does, because I haven’t seen her on Yahoo! since I wrote about seeing her online and how it made me feel. I don’t know, I just thought it was interesting that she no longer shows up after that. I know there are ways to kind of find out if she still reads my blog–I work in IT, after all–but I’m not interested enough to see if she’s still following me. I just assumed she wasn’t because 95% of the time I feel like she doesn’t give a schitt about me, so why read my blog (intriguing topic, too–inspired me to do a little Google search; still not sure what the answer is)? Why would anyone read this, haha? I have actual friends who won’t even read this stuff! Plus, I’ve been through worrying about who sees what I write, and I am past that now. My blog is my friend.

Bottom line–Belinda is someone I’d love to get to know if given the opportunity, but now is just not a good time. Really, I should be coming home and continuing my studies on programming (I’ve gotten really lazy since my class ended–which I aced, by the way, and only missed two questions out of about 40 on the final exam!!!), not checking sports articles on Yahoo! (easier said than done since I am all about the majority of sports now and have even added the Tennis Channel to my obsessive sports channel surfing, what, with the French Open having ended a couple of weeks ago and now Wimbledon is on) or blogging or going out on dates. I should be figuring out how long I’m going to be with my parents vs moving out…and, to me, moving out is all about moving to another city/state, which would also complicate dating anyone where I am now. I’ve really been looking at what’s out there in Austin, TX, San Francisco, CA and Ann Arbor, MI–the latter because that’s where I’d love to be, the former two because those are more so IT hotbeds. Right now, career needs to come first, as it has for the past year+, so I can stop being quite as big a loser. 😉

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They Thought I Was Bluffing, But They Were Wrong

So, I officially got offered the job I was contacted by another employment agency about. I took off work at my current job today to take care of all the business that needs to be taken care of with this employment agency that contacted me.

A lot has happened with this situation that I haven’t blogged about, so I’m going to bring it up now.

A couple of weeks ago, I was taken out to lunch by my recruiter at the employment agency that placed me where I work now. I was wondering just how much he’d be willing to tell me about the circumstances/details surrounding Lazy Tech finally getting fired. For people who don’t read my blog regularly, Lazy Tech is this lazy white guy whom I met at my previous job, as we worked together there. He quit that job when he got offered a position at the company where I work now, and as he was on his way out he gave me his contact info and told me to contact him so he can hook me up with the agency that helped him. I was hesitant to trust him because he was lazy and full of schitt at my previous job, too, but I ultimately emailed him and he basically got me my current job.

As time went on Lazy Tech started falling more and more into his old ways at my current job–he was lazy and he was an ass to the company’s employees who called tech support for help. Of course, people started complaining about him to our supervisor. My supervisor eventually moved me off tech support, more or less, as he had mentioned several times he might do, even in my job interview with him. This left LT on tech support basically by himself, and that’s when tech support kind of fell apart because of his laziness, his attitude problems, his essentially refusing to answer the phones when he didn’t feel like it, etc. But our supervisor still didn’t fire LT–he instead decided to switch me and LT around so that LT was doing the relatively stress-free, easier job I’d come to like and I was back on tech support. In other words, our supervisor indirectly said, “Okay, you don’t want to do tech support? I’ll take you off tech support and give you a much better job.” I was pissed, LT knew I was pissed, the guy who was training me at the position I’d been moved to was unhappy because he didn’t want to work with LT, and other people were looking at the situation just wondering what the hell our supervisor was doing. He was bending over backwards to help LT when LT didn’t deserve it, and I was getting fucked in the process.

We basically have to keep track of how much work we do and how many hours it takes us. One week, late in a Thursday afternoon when our time reports were emailed out, LT had only 16 hours of work. We work 40 hours a week. Next thing I knew, LT was fired.

My recruiter told me everything. He wasn’t like, “You know, it’s confidential…” and more professional about it, the way I think he should have been. We spent a very good chunk of our lunch date talking about LT. I know that LT is still jobless. And I know that he might still be at our company if it weren’t for the fact that my supervisor’s supervisor had something to say when he finally found out about all the issues with LT. When my super’s super found out, he was basically like, “Why is LT still here?” Um…exactly.

Eventually, the conversation turned to how I felt about my job, because I had spoken to my recruiter months ago telling him basically that I can’t stand tech support. We had pretty much agreed I’d give it 6 months. Now it has been over 6 months. Over the last couple of weeks I have spoken with my recruiter and another recruiter at that company, and I let both of them know that if I can’t go back to the position I was doing where I was a lot happier at work that I would be leaving. When I told my co-worker, New Tech, that, he was like, “You gave them an ultimatum? That’s cool!” and laughed (and to be perfectly honest, I talk freely at work about trying to leave because I don’t care and because I know they need me–it’s not the other way around). I was like, “No…” It wasn’t an ultimatum; I simply let them know what the deal was, and I wasn’t asking them to get me back in that position. I had already told my supervisor I would be interested that, and my supervisor basically made a comment about how I’d started getting great reviews on tech support but he’d consider it. My recruiter told me they had hired someone new and that this new kid only wants to do tech support, so he thought they might be bringing the new kid in for that.

The new kid finally came and, sure enough, they did some shuffling around that did not include my being put back in the position I liked. The same day the new kid arrived, I called my recruiter and said, “Okay, time to talk about other jobs.” They were surprised the new kid wasn’t put on tech support, but they figured it was probably because my supervisor didn’t want two relatively new people on tech support (erm, when LT and I were hired, we were both new people on tech support). One of the recruiters came out to my job and spoke with me, and I was just very straightforward with him about being ready to leave. He said he would talk to my supervisor, which, again, I didn’t ask them to do this. Again, I was speaking very freely about this, where other people could hear the conversation, and I wasn’t holding back punches. I made two things very clear to this recruiter–1) I can find another job if I want one, and 2) one way or another I was not working tech support anymore, i.e. my supervisor was either going to have me in my preferred job or not at all.

#2 is not something a lot of people can say at their jobs and get away with it, but I can. This employment agency is always telling me how everyone at my company loves me. Plus, tech support was garbage before I got there, it was garbage when LT was working it by himself. People contact me directly. They don’t even want to go through tech support, and I have to clean up after New Tech every single day. People get him for issues and he doesn’t resolve them, and then they come looking for me. A few days ago, I had someone call me on my direct line and tell me she went searching for my direct line so she could ask me to help another worker at her company whom New Tech didn’t help. Last week, I had someone email me directly and tell me how when I help her with a particular issue everything works perfectly but when New Tech does it it’s “a mess.”

“New Tech” is not all that new anymore, people–dude has been there over 3 months now. His performance is deteriorating, not getting better (which makes more work for me), and I know why–he hates tech support, too. With the average person, the more he/she hates a job the worse his/her job performance gets because the person stops even trying. That’s what LT’s problem was, aside from just being lazy, and now New Tech is going down that same path. I’m not that way because I hate the thought of people saying/doing the kinds of things behind my back that they’re doing with New Tech. I don’t want people saying anybody else is better than I am at anything. New Tech is too trifling to care, kind of like LT. And because of that, I know exactly what will happen when I leave this company–tech support is going back to schitt, no one will be there to pick up after New Tech and he eventually is going to get fired, too.

I love living with my parents. I wouldn’t be able to tell all these companies–in a nice way–to fuck off when they fuck me over without my parents, although they hate that I do it. My parents are not emotionally supportive and never have been–that’s why one of my sisters has issues. They criticize everything. My happiness has never been the point, except when it comes to them buying material things–they’ll buy me whatever, always have, but other than that? Career-wise, they couldn’t care less whether or not I’m happy. In line with having no issues buying material things, it’s all about money with them. I’m not complaining. I’m just saying that to say this: for a change, they are on my side with my decision to leave this company. Honestly, I don’t think they would be if they didn’t view this as a racial issue this time because LT is white and my supervisor tried hard to help him and took a better job away from my black ass to give it to his lazy ass…and then when I say I don’t want to do tech support and would prefer the better job my supervisor won’t budge. I’m not saying it is or isn’t racial–I know employers fuck good employees all the time, all kinds of good employees.

And of course, my supervisor didn’t budge, even after the recruiters talked to him. And then the recruiters conference-called me and asked me again where I stand, as if I hadn’t made it clear to them. When I told them I could find another job if I wanted to, I meant it. I had told the recruiter who came to see me that other people might have trouble finding jobs, but I don’t. They didn’t seem to believe me. They first told me they’re having trouble placing their clients right now because nothing is out there, and then after I reiterated during the conference call that I am out of this company my recruiter seemed kind of irritated. He basically started talking as if it was going to be impossible to find me a job, especially the kind of job I want, and like I was being unrealistic. This was on Monday. I got the official job offer Thursday/yesterday, and it’s exactly what I’m looking for–and I didn’t need him to find it, either, just as I told them I wouldn’t.

So, next week at work is going to be a lot of fun. I’m just going to sit and laugh at these people’s reactions when they all find out I’m done. I have a pretty good feeling the recruiters didn’t let my supervisor know that I would be looking to leave if I didn’t get placed back in my non-tech support position, probably because they didn’t seem to believe me when I told them I could find something with or without their help. So, this schitt is going to be hilarious, especially when he realizes that, regardless, he was going to have two “new” people working tech support–only now his best employee is going to be gone completely instead of benefiting him in a different way. Plus, I still would have been helping with tech support some, and they have a guy whose job it is to help the tech support employees when they need it. All my supervisor needs/needed to do is make that employee do his job (which he doesn’t really do), and then New Tech would be better off, the new kid would be fine and I could work the job I want at this company.

I feel a little sorry for all the people I help who specifically look for me to help them, because they’re just going to be fucked up. I also must admit that I’m sorry I won’t see Belinda again after I leave. But what can I say? Employers just don’t know how to value/treat/hold on to their best employees.

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Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

It seems like every time I feel I’ve turned a corner as far as my “ex” is concerned, I run smack into a setback. A couple of things have happened recently that make me say this.

First of all, I actually got to talk to Belinda last week. Belinda is my crush at work, a supervisor not in my department but in another department. When I sat down and thought about the potential consequences for me of dating a supervisor, even though she’s not in my department, it really made me…I don’t want to say “lose interest,” but it made it easier for me to step back and not really think about the romantic possibilities. And anyway, it isn’t/wasn’t like I know she’s interested in me.

I’ve never talked to Belinda before, and I still wouldn’t say we’ve had a true conversation. When I talked to her last week, she called tech support for help. Usually when she calls, my co-worker gets her calls (to the point where, according to him, she asked him–likely jokingly because she knows I answer phones and came down specifically to meet me a few weeks ago after she spoke to me–if he was the only one who answers phones). But he had left for the day when she called last week, so I got this particular call.

We have our greeting we typically use when answering the phones, but, instead, I picked up the phone and said, “Hey, Belinda” when I saw it was her on the caller ID. And then she greeted me by my name, and I think we did the “how are you?” thing and she expressed frustration with her computer. So, I knew then that, for the first time, I was actually going to have to help her with something and we might end up on the phone for a while. I started thinking about how I need to do a good job, just hoping it was something I could handle and I wouldn’t look stupid since it was her on the phone, haha!

What I got out of the interaction is she’s funny and she likes to shop for clothes (which kind of underscores why she comes to work looking like perfection every day–I even know where she likes to shop). She also seems naturally friendly/outgoing/talkative Southern style, which could explain why she started smiling and waving at me before we even met. She probably makes friends really easily, and, indeed, I never see her by herself when I see her at work. She seems like one of those people for whom technology just kind of goes over her head (which is probably one reason why my co-worker seems to think she’s annoying). It’s not like she was a complete moron like some of the people I have to assist, but I don’t think she’s a fan of computers and such or a quick study when it comes to them. But I think that’s normal for people who are 40+ years old.

Well, what does this have to do with my ex?

It shouldn’t have anything to do with my ex…except I then found myself comparing and contrasting the two of them–and not in a way that was favorable to Belinda. It was like, “Oh, my ex sounds smarter and probably is smarter” and blah, blah, blah, just based on the very little bit of info I got out of Belinda. The funny thing is…my ex and I had a little intelligence vs physical appearance issue where I think she would have loved to hear me compliment her looks more than I did, and I know I hurt her feelings at least a couple of times by suggesting I didn’t find her attractive or as attractive as other women.

I did and do find her very attractive, and, obviously, I think Belinda is physically attractive. It’s just that during the relationship with my ex, I was so wrapped up in how intelligent she is that I just never “got” it about her looks and her feelings on that and her wanting me to express that I found her attractive. I felt like, by far, the bigger compliment was how smart I thought she was. Intelligence is huge with me, great discussions are huge with me…you can find a pretty, well-dressed woman anywhere, and I, personally, don’t need to be told I’m attractive. And my ex is still probably the smartest person I’ve ever known, and I’ve attended elite universities full of bright people. Seriously, she knows words I don’t know. I love words. I minored in English. I took Etymology all the way back in high school. I used to get in trouble for reading books for “fun” while the teacher was lecturing in junior high. I was blown away at the time. I loved how smart my ex is.

So, when I tell you that there’s this beautiful, perfectly dressed woman at work and after speaking with her for 10-15 minutes all I could think about off and on for days is how smart my ex is…that’s nothing to take lightly.

This was on, like, last Wednesday when I spoke with Belinda…

And then a few days later, that weekend…I saw my ex online. I never see her online. I have a bunch of different email accounts, and I don’t really use half of them because I got sick of how they attract ridiculous amounts of spam. I tend to use my AOL account mainly to sign up for stuff/sites only now, and I use my Yahoo account for a lot of sports stuff, to give examples. I sign onto both regularly, although it had been maybe a week or so since I’d really been in my Yahoo account. So, I went in this past weekend to read some of the sports articles I get emailed every day, and there she was on IM.

I was kind of surprised. It has been well over a year since I’ve seen her on IM, so I guess I thought in the back of my mind that I’d never see her online again. And now I see her online daily. I know most people would say I should remove her from my IM list, but I hadn’t really paid attention to the fact that she’s on it since she hadn’t been online…and now I just don’t want to remove her, plain and simple. I will just stop logging into IM before I do that, and I couldn’t really tell you why. But the point is that seeing her online brings up one of the same old questions that has prevented me from really being able to completely move on, and that’s “why won’t she talk to me?” That is the biggest thing I’ve never been able to understand ever since we “broke up” and she said she can’t talk to me or have me in her life. And now when she’s sitting online and I’m online and she probably still has me on her IM list–I don’t know, maybe she doesn’t, but if she does, then–why won’t she talk to me?

We were friends before we were anything else, and now she doesn’t ever want to speak to me again?

I keep having to check myself and make sure I don’t send her an IM. It’s not going to happen. But still. The past 7 days have really let me know I still haven’t moved on, and it sucks because I’ve been stuck on this for too long. I know the main reason is because she has all the answers and I have all the questions. It has never been harder for me to get over someone, but I have also never been anywhere near as confused after a breakup, either. I know the questions will never be answered, and I know from experience that the more I try to get answers from her the more confusing everything gets. I’d rather pretend everything didn’t happen and start over from the beginning–I think I have too much pride/ego to truly want her back romantically–but she’ll never talk to me again. If someone treated you like crap, it makes sense to act like he/she doesn’t exist, but I don’t deserve this…

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White Women and a Sense of Entitlement

Obligatory Disclaimer: I usually try to stay away from posts like these, but on this particular issue I just can no longer continue to hold back anymore. So. If you’re someone who gets offended by candid discussions concerning race and/or sex/gender, or you do not like to hear/read about race and that there’s a such thing as racial differences, please click away from this page. Thank you much.

When I was in school, I took [almost] all the fuddy duddy courses in all the departments most people don’t respect–psychology, sociology, philosophy, anthropology, etc. When I was in law school, I took many of the “Race and Law,” “Gender and Law,” “Law and the Elderly” types of courses. I’m one of those kind of people. And people think you’ll never actually “use” these things, but, in fact, I’m about to use them right now.

This is the kind of post people who don’t follow the blog regularly will find in a search engine, so let me recap a few things. I work in the IT industry. Most of the jobs I’ve had since leaving school have been customer service oriented, and right now I work in a tech support type of capacity. I’m trying to get away from tech support because I hate it. I hate dealing with the people we support, but particularly the phone calls. Most people who work tech support/help desk/service desk complain about the people. I took my current job, knowing from my last tech support job that I’d hate it, because it pays pretty well for where I live. I have loved the money, but I am just about at my wits end and ready to take a pay cut to get out. I cannot express how sick of people I am. [Now you’re up to speed.]

But I have especially had it with white women. They are the worst customers, do you hear me? They are the bane of my existence. They are the ones whom when the phone rings and I look over at the caller ID to see who is calling and I start cursing before I pick up the phone…it’s almost always a white woman. They are the ones whom when I see an email land in the inbox and I’m sitting there like, “I do not want to answer this email. No way…somebody else is going to answer this @sshole”…it’s usually from a white woman. They are the ones whom when the guys I work with and I are sitting around complaining about certain people who call or email us…the person about whom we’re complaining is almost always a white woman. They, in my experience, are the most difficult customers…and it’s not even close.

This was surprising to me, for a while. When I was in the beginning stages of starting my career, I expected white men to be the difficult people to serve. And I have certainly had to deal with some difficult white men. Indeed, if you’re a scholar of the fuddy duddy stuff–you know, the social sciences and the humanities–and/or you like to read those kinds of things in your spare time (as I used to like to do), you love those discussions (as I still do)…you’ve probably been led to believe that white men are predominantly the bad guys. They have done most of the bad things in history. They are the ones who feel entitled to everything today. And this “white guy as the bad guy” idea is largely perpetuated by, surprise, a lot of white men–as historians, as psychologists, as researchers, as scholars and so on.

But it’s also heavily perpetuated by white female feminists. In fact, let’s get real–the average visible feminist is a white woman. Hell, the average feminist, period, is a white woman. Nothing wrong with being a feminist, and I’m not saying I’m not one. I’m just saying that my observation has been that women of color, even though black women buck some of the key gender roles/stereotypes in society, still on the whole subscribe to more sexist ideals than white women do and are still more brainwashed in their thinking of what men “should” do, what men “should” have, etc, vs women.

Anyway, when these white female feminists are talking about sex and gender in our society, they are clearly speaking relative to white men…because other men do not have oppressive power, at least not in terms of the system. So, these white women are complaining about white men and their entitlement and the fact that they get things because they’re white men. This is not to say other men don’t feel a sense of entitlement. I know from dealing with black men as a black woman that black men certainly feel a sense of entitlement. All types of men feel a sense of entitlement. But my points are 1) we only ever hear about entitlement in white men and how that’s a problem, and 2) white women’s problems with men are with white men.

The funny thing I’ve come to see, though, is tons of white women act just the way they take issue with when it comes to white men. In fact, socially? White women are worse than white men. I suppose they’re making up for not having that power systemically.

If you ever run across discussions of entitlement in white women, they tend to only focus on relationships. No–white women just…feel…entitled. Period. Even though I’m a lesbian, I don’t date white women. Never say never, but I more than likely won’t date a white woman ever again, for so many reasons. So, I can’t speak with any real experience when it comes to what white women are like in romantic relationships. The reason why I say they’re entitled is customer-based.

It’s that, in my experience, the following comes from white women more than anybody else:

1) “Why do I have to do this? I shouldn’t have to do this…I don’t understand why…and it shouldn’t be this difficult…why this…why that…when is this going to be fixed…”

2) “I need this done right now!”

3) -[Emails to tech support] “I’m having XYZ problem. Call me at 200-400-5000.” (For those who don’t understand, erm…users are supposed to call tech support. We’re not f*cking supposed to call you. And why the f*ck would you email us that you have a problem and then ask us to call you? Why didn’t your prissy @ss pick up the phone and just call us?!)

4) [Attitude on the line, with a lot exaggerated scoffing] “Uck, I can’t get into Oracle, and I keep getting this error message, and, uck, I can’t work like this, and uck…”

Me: “What is happening when you try to get into Oracle? What does the error message say?”

“Uck, I don’t know…uck…I just need it fixed now!”

[Trying to figure out how to help this b!tch when she won’t give me any useful information]

5) “I need to know when I’m going to be able to log into XYZ, because I’ve really got work I need to get done. I’ve got to be able to do this now.

Me: “Well, the admin who normally works on this issue is out of the office today.”

“Uck…who else can get this done for me? Who can I talk to? Who is the admin’s supervisor?”

“Tell you what, I will check with my supervisor to see who else can work on this issue for you.”

“Okay. Will you let me know?”

“Um…” hesitating because we don’t have time to be calling people back about schitt. Like I said, you call tech support; we don’t call you. “Yes, I will.”

[Thirty minutes later, an email goes out from this b!tch and another [white] b!tch to me, my supervisor, my supervisor’s supervisor, the admin who is out and a whole bunch of other people about this exact…same…issue. Funny thing is, they basically tell her the same schitt I told her, and all of a sudden she’s cool to just wait.]

6) “I’m calling to find out why we still haven’t received [user’s] laptop. We were supposed to receive it today, but it still has not arrived. Can you tell me when it was shipped out?”

[Shipping out laptops, unfortunately, has absolutely nothing to do with me because I no longer work in the position I want to work in at this company. So, I tell the user I will check and put her on hold]

Me: [after checking] “Hello? The laptop still has not shipped out yet. It looks like the user’s ID was just created, so the tech is only just now able to start setting up the user’s profile on his PC.”

“Oh, my gosh…I can’t believe this!” [Start of an angry rant. Erm, by the way…it was this b!tch’s fault anyways. She is the one who took forever to submit his f*cking paperwork, and that’s why his user ID was created so late. We can’t complete PC setups without a user ID because a tech has to log in as the user to set up his user profile. I calmly explained this schitt to this moron without trying to make it sound like I was blaming her]

7) [Email] “Please process these Oracle account creation forms for [users].”

[My co-worker responded to the email letting this b!tch know that she has not followed the correct process and that a manager needs to submit the forms through our intranet site]

[Response] “Well, that’s not how we did it before. [Life.overrated] helped me with this before, and I was able to email the forms in.”

[Yep…and that time before, the b!tch was trying to not follow the rules then, too. I had to go to my supervisor and get approval for this b!tch to get her way that time, and now she seems to think she can just not follow the rules every f*cking time and proceeds to argue back and forth with my co-worker]

That’s enough examples for right now (even though I failed to give an example on how white women also love to tell you how to do your job), but let me be clear on two things–1) these b!tches are not b!tches because they’re white; they’re b!tches because they’re pushy, demanding, argumentative, don’t treat people the way they want to be treated, and think rules/processes don’t or shouldn’t apply to them. This is how people who feel a sense of entitlement act when they are not getting their way or when things are not going the way they “feel” they should. 2) All kinds of people behave in ways similar to the provided examples, but I’m simply saying my experience is more (and not all) white women consistently do these things. All of these examples are of white women–except one.

Example #6 is, according to one of my co-workers, a black female. Now, if you’re smart, you should have been questioning how is it that we answer emails and phones but somehow know the race of the people we serve. There are three main ways, and some of the more politically correct among us won’t like one of these ways:

1) Sometimes at least one of us who does anything with tech support at my company has met the person. This is why we know the person in example #6 is black…because she damn sure doesn’t sound black. The new tech and I were shocked as hell when Wannabe Cool Tech told us #6 is black, and he said he thought she was joking when he met her and she told him who she was (WCT is white). So, of course, we get difficult black customers/users at times. However, my observation has been that the more difficult blacks tend to be black women who seem…for lack of a better term, “white-washed”…hence the stunning revelation that #6 is not white.

There is a black chick who works in the same building I do who is now friendlier and all “hey, girl!” when she needs assistance, but for months when I first started working at the company she was a hateful, pushy little b!tch whenever she needed anything. She is, you can tell, a “white” black female. And I don’t mean anything bad about being a “white” black person, as I am pretty “white” myself…I just don’t “ack a fool” with people who work customer service-type positions. If you’ve read about Belinda before in my blog…Belinda, though she hangs with only blacks at work, has got some whiteness to her, as well, especially vocally.

2) I’ve mentioned before, but a lot of people at my company throw a profile picture into their email accounts. So, when they email us, we either confirm they’re white or we see for the first time they’re white.

3) Look, I’m sorry if you don’t like this, but 90-95% of the time you should be able to tell when someone is white or black on the phone. It has nothing to do with intelligence, contrary to popular belief. Black people and white people–usually and typicallyjust…sound…different…okay? I am intelligent, but I also sound black. Barack Obama is intelligent, but he sounds black. It’s not a matter of speaking correct or “proper” English. We have different tones and depths of voice. Black people often have deeper voices. There are certain words a white person is more likely to use. Things like that. It’s lazy to chalk it up to intelligence, but it’s also lazy to deny that we don’t sound the same because you can sit and analyze the differences, even breaking it down regionally (black Southerners sound different from blacks other places, for example, but they also sound different from white Southerners). Now, you can sometimes tell when you’re dealing with a Latino(a) or Asian, too, but that’s a matter of accent. Otherwise, they tend to sound more like white people.

If you read my blog, you might know about my last “ex-girlfriend.” One of the first things I said to her when I first heard her voice is that she sounds white. She got pissed and started lecturing me on how there’s no such thing. We never really talked about it again, but sorry…there’s a such thing. She just doesn’t think so because she is from an African family and has had a lot of acquaintances who are from “foreign” families. Well, as I mentioned just a second ago, being more “foreign” is a little bit trickier, more diverse. But it’s not tricky for white Americans and black Americans.

I will say, though, that if I can even find a group that comes in 2nd behind white women as being a nightmare to deal with, it is those more “foreign” people–probably most especially “foreign” women and perhaps even including the American-born ones with immigrant parents. Can’t break it into groups as far as Indian, Latino(a), Chinese, except maybe to lean towards people from the continent of Asia who live in the US most of all (so, in other words, I’m saying Asian and Indian-Asian women)…just all of them. They are difficult customers who also act with some sense of entitlement, and they are, perhaps, only a distant 2nd to white women just because of the frequency with which an American is going to interact with white women vs “foreign” customers.

Over the past few months, I have done a few internet searches on this topic. That’s why I have found that a lot of discussions about white women and entitlement focus on relationships. But a couple of months ago, I found a discussion on lipstickalley.com that let me know I wasn’t the only one who found white female customers overwhelmingly give service workers the dickens…unfortunately, I can no longer find that thread, or else I would link to it. I was surprised at the near unanimity of opinion on white women’s difficulty in that thread, though.

I did, however, find one true read that somewhat explains why white men are perceived as feeling entitled and why my experience with people “acking a fool” is almost always with white women as opposed to, say, black people. Also, even though this is about a relationship, I want you to skip to the 5:20 mark of this video and watch for about 50 seconds. Note that the blog post is an acknowledgement of white entitlement by a white male and that the video features probably one of the most racist white characters ever on TV essentially describing white women much the same way as I have. Even though the female described in the clip turns out to be black, she is yet another one of those “white” black chicks (watch the rest of the video if you have time to see what I’m talking about and to get an example of the difficult b!tches I deal with at work).

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Tattle Tail Co-Workers

If you don’t read my blog regularly, I’m going to give you some relevant details about my job and then tell a tale about one of my co-workers who seems to have become a tattle tail. Here are the three things/people you need to know in order to understand the story:

-A lot of people at my job don’t actually work. They basically get paid to do nothing. The more money they make, the less work they do, as a general rule.

-There are two of us working tech support–me and this African guy who hasn’t been with the company very long but already is applying for and interviewing with other jobs because he wants off tech support (can’t blame him). The African guy has been at the company since maybe late March, so a little more than two months. Two months is not long enough to have a handle on working in tech support where I work, so there are still many problems with having to work with this guy–having to help him a lot, having to catch or correct a lot of his mistakes and having to deal with him not tackling issues because he doesn’t know how to handle them and doesn’t ask about how to handle them sometimes (i.e. he leaves more difficult issues for me to handle). These are the most significant issues with having to work with him.

-There is this geeky dude whom I call Wannabe Cool Tech (WCT) because he runs around trying to act cool all the time. He got off tech support not long before I was hired, and now part of his job is to train the newer tech support workers and be the go-to guy for any questions we have. From day one, I noticed this dude basically sits on his @ss in his cubicle, playing with his iPhone. He didn’t train us, per se. We have to seek him out and ask him questions, for the most part, and all of us were basically thrown into the fire. A lot of people at the company like this geek, probably because he’s very knowledgeable as far as handling tech issues goes, but I don’t. I felt early on that he was arrogant and doesn’t do enough work, although I don’t necessarily think he’s lazy. He certainly has way too much free time at work, though, and that’s partially because the position he has now seems to have been created for him as opposed to being anything that is really necessary to the company. I do think if he seriously was a tech support trainer he’d be more valuable and less sit-on-his-@ss-ish…but he’s not any of those things at this point and was surely far more valuable when he worked tech support.

This WCT fucker is who this post is about. Over the last few months, we have started having issues with fuckers tattle tailing at work, and he has just made my schitt list for such acts. Yes, a schitt list has developed. Up until now, it had primarily consisted of those fuckers who make more but do less. These are the people whom I’ve started saying “fuck it” and, despite their telling tech support that they want us to collect XYZ information before passing tickets on to them, I just fucking give them tickets anyways and try to make them do some digging. Now, WCT makes more, I presume, and does less, but these guys who had landed on my schitt list prior, I’m sure, make way more. Still, WCT is of more assistance to me than those other guys are, so even though I didn’t particularly care for him he had not found his way onto my schitt list.

Unfortunately, this past week at work the @sshole decided to fuck with me, and now it’s all over.

He had already started getting on my nerves, and I started to tell him in a nice way that this was the case but decided to leave it alone. He had been doing schitt like telling me schitt I already know as someone who has worked tech support at this company for over 6 months now–simple schitt that, of course, I know–“reminding” us that we need to be doing XYZ and sometimes tacking on complaints like, “Because you didn’t do this, I found this email from yesterday that no one had answered,” which probably meant he had to be torn away from texting on his iPhone to actually do some very simple work…and maybe even more annoying than that, he is very “I no longer work for tech support”-ish when people approach him for help and he will send them to me or forward emails over to me/tech support when we’re already flooded. True enough that he’s off tech support, but he’s sitting in his cubicle doing nothing while I’m drowning in work.

And yes, even though tech support consists of two of us, I’m the one drowning in work…correcting the new guy’s mistakes and doing schitt the new guy indirectly refuses to do and teaching him schitt. By the way, teaching the new guy schitt? That’s WCT’s job. Honestly, correcting the new guy’s mistakes probably ought to be WCT’s job, too.

On account of my doing at least 1 & 1/2 people’s job, schitt gets missed sometimes or not handled as fast as my employer would like. Now, one of WCT’s favorite things to say/write is “I’m not always checking the tech support inbox.” He says/writes this when he’s “reminding” us what we should be doing. Oh, but he still somehow manages to notice when one of us doesn’t answer an email correctly, quickly or at all…and, of course, he points this schitt out. The fucker is like Cinderella’s ugly stepsister, standing over you pointing out all the spots you missed while you’re the one on hands and knees doing all the waxing. But is that his job? After all, I have never been told that he is my supervisor or an assistant supervisor of any sort.

One day this past week, the fucker took it too far by emailing me and the new guy an email he copied my supervisor on, whining about how he had to answer an email that no one at tech support answered. My supervisor almost immediately responded, wanting to know why neither of us answered the email, “it doesn’t look good for tech support,” and saying he wants one of us to respond to him about why this email was not addressed.

I looked at my supervisor’s email like, “This dude is crazy”…because we were busy as hell on this particular day, with the phones ringing off the hook and emails pouring in. You’re whining about a company employee’s email not being answered, but you want one of us to take time away from a flooded inbox to answer your email about an email that WCT already answered. Straight up, I responded, “I will respond to you when I have time.” It was a nice way of saying, “I don’t have time for this overly-dramatic bullschitt.”

Mind you, this situation with that one email not being answered was another case of the new guy trying to leave something he’s clueless about to me instead of asking somebody. The email had first been ignored by him. I had just gotten to work, and then maybe 30 minutes-to-an hour later WCT started all this bullschitt. I get to work an hour and a half after the new guy does, so the email was ignored all that time prior to my arriving. You know what happened when I got to work? I found a flooded email inbox with more emails than just that one WCT whined about in it, and then the new guy turned his phone off and went and got himself breakfast from our on-site restaurant. There I was, fielding call after call by myself with all these emails staring me in the face while this @sshole was sitting on his side of the cubicle stuffing his face.

So, yeah, I jumped at the opportunity to respond to my supervisor’s email. The email consisted of much of what is written here that you’re reading, just in a far more professional tone. I explained the current work dynamic between me and the new guy and how the new guy leans on me rather than WCT, how he leaves work for me, how he runs off to take breaks as soon as I get to work even though that’s a busy time frame, etc. I explained that, if given time, I would have responded to the email, but I made it clear that the email had been overlooked long before I got to work and that it was obviously being left to me instead of WCT trying to figure out how to handle it.

But I also wrote, in a nicer way, “What the fuck does WCT actually do here? I know what he’s supposed to do…well, kinda…but…??? Seriously, man. When we’re busy, he needs to be trying to help–which is what I thought his job, in part, consisted of–instead of sitting there pointing out what’s being missed, what’s going wrong and whining about it all and copying our supervisor on emails about it.” Yes, sir, I did.

Did not get a response to that one, haha.

But…

My supervisor seemed understanding of everything else I wrote. I don’t know what’s going to come of it, though.

Things like this combine with my just being sick of dealing with people in a service capacity in making me want to get away from this company. Sometimes I think maybe I don’t really want to leave because the job has gotten more comfortable, I get tons of compliments, more people like me now and I like some of them…and, of course, there’s now the thing with Belinda, too, and just wanting to see what that’s all about. The biggest thing is just that the second I find that there are quality women where I live when, for years, I thought there weren’t and I am in the same place as those women, should I stay for that? I worry that leaving is like walking away from a huge opportunity to have more of a personal life (if I can find a way to navigate workplace relationships successfully) when I thought that wasn’t possible in this area. But I am probably on my way out the door, which is totally by my own volition–it has been made clear to me that my job is not in danger at all. Still, first and foremost is getting away from tech support, because I know there’s bullschitt–and certainly tattle tail co-workers–everywhere.

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