Women Who Smile and Wave From Across the Room

The last two days at work have been hysterical.

For starters, Lazy Tech finally got fired. I guess we’re not really supposed to cheer things like this, especially in a time when the economy and unemployment are just horrible and so many people struggle to find work, but some people really deserve to lose their job. I just wanted to burst out laughing all day after finding out he got fired. But the main thing that makes me happy about his getting fired is it gives me a little more hope that good workers really can be valued and bad workers can get what they deserve instead of always being tolerated or having their shortcomings overlooked because they are personable. You don’t see this all the time in the workplace, so it’s good to see it’s possible.

Second…so, a while back I wrote a little about this woman at work who works in another department. The short version, to recap, is she is someone whom I sometimes see in my company’s lunch area. We had never met, but she just randomly started smiling at and acknowledging me, which is not always about anything, especially in the South. I wasn’t sure if she knew who I was, but I didn’t think so. Unfortunately, we’re popular in tech support (and to think, most of us went through school wanting to be popular, and now here I am saying “unfortunately” I am–just want to be left the f*ck alone, honestly), so sometimes people know who we are when we’re away from the IT department just trying to take breaks or go to the restroom. Anyways, one of the last times she emailed tech support, she kind of got pissy with me, and I just thought she had issues. But that’s how I found out her name and that she was the same person from the lunch area. I am still not sure if she knew who she was getting pissy with, though.

Okay.

So, for the last few days I have seen her regularly in the lunch area, and I have also spoken with her at work via telephone most of those same days. Normally, she does not call tech support, but she has started calling with schitt that is really not a big deal, which is great–I like schitt that’s not a big deal…those calls are quick and easy. Anyway, she still has been smiling and waving and all this, as if we know each other. Again, we have never spoken in person or been introduced.

Yesterday, she called tech support and she asked me a non-technical question, just really simple bs. It was, like, a 15-second call, and I transferred her to someone whom I knew wouldn’t act psycho about me transferring someone to him. Just really no big deal. Next thing I know, this chick shows up in the IT department, pops her head into the cubicle where I work and then basically pops out. Without thinking about it, I said, “Hey, Belinda” when she popped her head in, as if we talk all the time and as if someone had told me her name or she’d told me herself. I hate it when people come directly to us with stuff, so I always overcompensate to not show my displeasure by acting very friendly and more than happy that they showed up. They are not supposed to come to us anyway–they’re supposed to call or email only–but I never tell them that. Prior to, particularly, this job, I had no earthly idea that I could be so f*cking fake. I really would talk bad about myself and my fakeness if I were someone else. It’s just sickening.

Anyways, when she just kind of stuck her head in the cubicle and said hi and then started off again, I was like…? I put on my fake friendly schitt and was like, in a very customer service-type voice, “What do you need?” And she said something like, “Oh, I was just in the area.” And then she was gone.

I’m like…”Okay, this is weirdness.”

Today when I was beginning my lunch break, I saw her in the lunch area. I didn’t stay there very long…I wanted to go outside, but it was raining. In fact, there is a psycho storm where I live now and the streets are flooded. So I went back in the building, walked through the lunch area and then walked out. And because I saw her, I started thinking about yesterday. And I passed one of my co-workers, who I pretty much never spend time speaking with and whom I’m pretty sure is a lesbian. My co-worker stopped me and was like, “You know how Belinda stuck her head over in your cubicle yesterday?”

Apparently, this chick told my co-worker that she wanted to meet me. That’s why she came down to the IT department. According to my co-worker, she said it is nice to call tech support and get someone who is nice on the phone (for the record, the only person who wasn’t nice was Lazy Tech–everyone else is fine). I don’t know what else, if anything, was said, but it’s just a little bit interesting that Belinda was talking to my lesbian co-worker about this. Now, I still wouldn’t exactly say we met. For example, I did have someone come to meet everyone in tech support last week, although I do think she specifically wanted to meet me (because I heard one of my co-workers ask if she was looking for me, and then there she was), and she at least stuck out her hand–not just her head–and introduced herself formally. We talked, and we found out we’re both Michigan girls–she’s originally from Michigan, and she was happy when she found out I attended Michigan. This doesn’t happen often, though, and when it does the people wanting to meet me/us don’t work at our location. They just talk to tech support enough that when they finally have to come to our location for some reason they might drop by.

Anyway, I did see Belinda today and she did her smile/wave thing.

So, what does this mean? Who knows. I certainly don’t. And I was thinking I’d never get to find out because I’d probably be getting another job soon, but I might end up staying where I am after all. The co-worker who told me about Belinda also encouraged me to talk to my supervisor about moving back off tech support now that Lazy Tech is gone, which I wasn’t going to do until she mentioned it. I did, and my supervisor said he’d see what he can do. Now, if I can go back to doing what I was doing back in March, I might actually stay where I am. I just don’t know.

Anyways, as far as Belinda is concerned, I’m probably thinking too much, and it makes me feel like I’m back in school a little bit. One thing I hate about being a lesbian is you just don’t have a clearcut way to read women in heterosexual environments, and it seems like the best thing to do would be to follow a male/female dynamic…despite the fact that you’re both females. This seems to necessitate that one person kind of “be the man,” i.e. just go up to a woman who smiles and acts welcoming and initiate things, and I think a lot of the time it would be expected that this falls to me just because I am not that feminine (Belinda is pretty feminine, as are all women I find myself interested in), even though I’m also hardly butch. And I have a problem with male/female dynamics anyways, plus I’m not an initiator at all. And I’m still not sure I’d want to initiate anything even if I were that type.

A guy knows (or should know) that if a woman is smiling, waving, looking he should go up and talk to her, and that if he doesn’t he probably loses out. It’s more complicated than that with women, unless you happen to be in a predominantly lesbian or LGBT environment. For starters, you don’t know if the chick even likes chicks. And then in the South, people often greet people they don’t know.

[Shrugs]

We’ll see.

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