Maybe I Spoke Too Soon

I doubt it, but here’s the deal:

In my last post where I wrote about still having feelings for my “ex,” I mentioned that it takes me a long time to get over someone, unless someone else enters the picture. And I wrote that no one else would be doing so because I work with a bunch of men. And I do, and I spend so much time cooped up in the IT department because I have to be by the phones so that we don’t miss tech support calls from our company’s employees. We are allowed two 15-minute breaks, but I rarely take them because I am usually too busy. And because I have been leaving work early or taking days off due to doctor’s appointments over the past month, I have definitely been seeing less people outside the IT department lately. It had also been nice outside until recently, so I have been going outside more on breaks.

We have something of an on-site restaurant or cafeteria with a dining area at work, and I used to sit in there on a regular basis during my lunch break before I started missing work and taking off early weekly. This is the main way I encounter other people at my company who don’t work for the IT department, but I really don’t interact with any of these people. When I am in the dining area, I usually see the same people all the time. There’s a group of people who always either seem to sit with each other or have drive-by conversations with each other in the dining area.

I’ve been at my job three months now, and there’s one lady I have often seen with this group of people in the dining area. I usually either eat or just sit and mess with my phone (listen to sports talk shows, play games, listen to music, surf sites, IM or text someone, etc), so I don’t pay much attention to other people in the area. But I look around at times just to try and stay alert, and I had never seen this lady pay any attention to me.

As I mentioned before, the past three or four weeks, I have mainly either been outside during lunch or have not been at work for lunch time. But this week, parts of the South decided it actually is, in fact, winter time and now it’s all cold and rainy and 30-something degrees instead of 50 or 60-something and sunny. So back to the dining area I go this week after a few weeks of barely being in there.

As I was on my way there, I saw the lady coming out and she smiled at me. Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything in the South. Southerners smile at and greet people they don’t know all the time, especially people they see often and get to recognize by face, even if they’ve never officially met them. It’s both good and annoying. I mean, when I lived in Illinois and Michigan, I got accustomed to people not doing that as much as in the South, and it was nice to not feel obligated to acknowledge, like, 80% of all strangers or else be seen as rude or stuck-up. When I came back down South, I had to readjust to the culture once again, and that was one of the more irritating things I had to get used to again. But in this case, this lady had gone two or so months without engaging in this behavior, and even in terms of now doing it out of face recognition I seriously did not know if she’d actually ever seen me before.

Yesterday, I went out to lunch with Lazy Tech and some guys from the employment agency that placed LT and I at this company. Ugh. The place we went to did not have one morsel of real “American” food or drink in it. Before I could even finish the first dish, my face and tongue were, like, 65% numb and I felt like barfing (even though the first dish was actually good). By the time I got back to work, my stomach was killing me, my head hurt, it was a struggle to keep my eyes open…I somewhat thought about going home (and to be fair, I get sick after eating a lot of the time after having surgery a couple of years ago, but it’s usually not this bad). Instead, I set out to find a real, refreshing “American” beverage and not Saki or some other weird schitt or alcohol. Yep, it was time to hit the soda machine in the dining area.

I raced to the dining area as soon as I got back to work, in dire need of a Dr. Pepper. And there the gang was in a booth near the door, with the lady facing in my direction. Even though I saw her, I didn’t really see her because I was in a hurry to get soda. My eyes glazed over the booth when I hit the room and then I looked away quickly, just focused on the destination. And suddenly my brain went, “Wait a minute. That lady is smiling at you.” So I looked back at her, and she was still smiling at me. I did the Southern thing and acknowledged her.

This time was a little bit different. She was in the booth with about three other people, and when I came in she stopped paying attention to them and looked at me the whole time. Even when I wasn’t really seeing her and was instead focused on my destination, looked away quickly and looked back, she was still smiling and looking at me in that way people do when they’re waiting to see if you will make eye contact with them. After I finally did make eye contact with her, I didn’t look at her again, so I don’t know what else she did after that.

And yes, she is pretty.

I’m not going to lie–there is someone else at work I’ve noticed, and she is in the IT department. There’s just something about her voice. And she totally sets off my gaydar. But I would not date her, for a few different reasons. One is that she is in the same department as me, and I see too many potential problems with that. Getting with someone outside of IT, like the lady from the dining area, would be way better, because it’d be way easier to avoid her if things don’t work out. I have to interact with the chick from IT and do so just about daily. And frankly, I mentioned in my last post that I don’t really want to date a white woman, and I’m not kidding. It’s hard to explain without writing another post…best way I can put it is I don’t feel like dealing with racial issues/differences. The IT lady is white, but the lady from the dining area is black. IT lady also smokes, and that’s just a big, um, NO.

Speaking of race, that’s the other interesting thing about the dining area lady being nice to me all of a sudden. Black women are rarely friendly with me, unless they’re significantly older than me. It’s usually black men, then white men (I get along great with white men, and they always end up my best friends at work, even when I worked at a predominantly black job–it’s really weird, haha), then white women and then black women. Dining area lady looks like she might be a few years older than I am, at best. I’m the youngest in my family and will be 32 in a couple of weeks, and the next youngest is 37 and a half…dining area lady just doesn’t look that age.

The one thing about black women, though, is they don’t play about living at home with parents. It doesn’t matter the reason why; they don’t date men or women who live at home. But I just can’t see living in the same city as my parents and not living with them, and I know that’s weird to a lot of people. It just seems like a huge waste of money to me, and maybe it wouldn’t if I weren’t planning to move back to Michigan or someone else eventually. That’s $600+ every month that I get to save towards my move or blow on whatever I want. I don’t think I could make most people understand that I love that and just like living with my parents, but definitely not a black woman, haha.

The point, though, is there might actually be someone in that big building in which I work. Maybe there will be more to come on that topic…

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