The Scheming Lazy Co-Worker

It never fails. This happens every time I try to get a new job.

First of all, my apologies to those struggling to find work or who have a hard time finding jobs. I don’t want it to seem like I’m bragging. When I lived in Chicago, I had a hard time finding a job the second time I was looking. And I had a hard time finding a job after both graduations from universities. For some reason, I don’t have a hard time where I currently live (and it’s probably not anything about where I live because I know a lot of people struggle to find work here), and I know I’ve also learned a lot of great things about job hunting that I haven’t always known.

That out of the way…

It seems like every time I’m looking for a job, I get several opportunities around the same time. And one of those opportunities is one I really want and am excited about, but then there’s another opportunity or two that comes up and they move faster than the job I want does. This seriously happens every time I am on the job hunt.

Tell you what happened:

Today, I’m sitting at work. I’m really irritated because the day sucks. People are like, “Happy Halloween,” and I’m like, “Yeah, yeah…can I go home yet?” I don’t care about holidays or fake holidays–whatever the hell Halloween is–anyways, but I really wasn’t into it today and didn’t even want to eat candy, which is odd for me (the candy part). I was checking my phone a lot, just hoping my new job would call with a start date. But at some point, I do get a call but it’s a number I don’t recognize. I don’t answer my cell phone at work anyways, but I also don’t answer when I see numbers I don’t know. Usually, I open a web browser and search the number, which is what I did.

Turns out it was the employment agency the lazy afternoon tech who quit a while ago put me in touch with. This is the place that found him a good job, allowing him to quit. They left a voice message, and I do check voice messages at work. The caller basically said they have a job for me.

Maybe not even 10 minutes later do I get an IM from the lazy guy telling me why they contacted me–the job is where he works. He works at a good company, and they pay well. But he does the same thing I currently do where I work, and when he first told me that’s what he’d be doing–he told me before he left my current employer–I was just like, thinking, “Why would you go somewhere else and do the same thing when all you do is say ‘I hate people, I hate people, I hate people’?” I mean, we support users on the phone and via email where I work, and he does the same thing at his new job. And this is what I’d be doing if I went there, which is something I’m trying to get away from.

He made it even harder to want that job, too, although he probably didn’t realize it. We were chatting on IM, and he told me some key things. They do a lot more work there than we do at my current job, which is good and bad. But it’s really bad if you hate dealing with people, which I do. It sounds like there’s more people to deal with. And he said he is the only one doing that job until they fill the open position they have. This lets me know that if I take that job it will be me and him working together only.

Um, problem–he’s lazy. Cool dude for helping me as he has with so many things, but I know that if I take that job I’ll be doing almost all the work.

He tells me they do more work, but the money makes it worth it. Okay. I’m not that into money, though. I have tried to be, but I’m not.

And then…I finally talk to the guy from the agency and find out exactly how much I’d be making.


Quite a bit more than I could get anywhere else at this stage in my career. I really wasn’t expecting it. I know my new job won’t pay that, and according to the guy at the agency I could make even more than that with each year just doing the same job at this place, not even moving up.

But, frankly, that’d be the only positive thing out of it, other than I get away from where I work now.

And then the agency guy was telling me this place is huge on “cultural fit.” Oh, Lawd. I don’t fit “cultures.” (Well, that’s not true–I would be perfect for a work culture in which everyone had his/her own office and stayed locked up in it all day with music or sports talk shows blasting through headphones on their ears while they do A+ work and don’t talk to anyone. Unfortunately…that doesn’t really exist.) And knowing lazy tech, the “culture” is probably lame, lazy white guys who sit around talking about dumb crap and who can overlook not liking a job if the price is right. I mean, again, it’s cool he’s even trying to help me, but I just have to tell it like it is. According to agency guy, if you fit the culture you get leeway on stuff, including being qualified for the job.

Now, see…this is exactly what’s wrong with places of employment nowadays. I can’t hang with anything like that, because what’s going to happen is I’d get there, lazy tech would be doing nothing and I’d be doing a great job, but he’d be the one everyone likes so it’d be okay.

Last year I would have taken a job like this and ignored a lot of things going into it, but I’ve really learned to read between the lines and I don’t like what I’m reading. I think lazy tech wants to get me out there quickly so he can have someone he knows is reliable to dump work on, and, of course, he’s willing to vouch for me with the employer. On one hand, it’s hard to ignore the money and the fact that I am so ready to move on. But on the other hand, I don’t exactly need the money. And my goal was to get back to doing something I like, something I’m good at and something I feel like I’m good at. And to deal with less people.

The agency wants to move quickly on this, though (like, they want to submit paperwork to the employer and speak with them about interview times tomorrow and then have me interview Friday), and I don’t want to say I’m not interested without knowing for sure that I will or won’t get a start date for the job I’m already supposed to have lined up (I won’t relax and feel like I have a new job until I get a start date). Part of me also says if I’m going to dislike what I do, why not dislike it with a lot more money (meaning that if, for some reason, my new job falls through, why not take this position)?

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