Feeling Guilty About Leaving My Employer

So, it’s been a while, I know.

No, I haven’t left my job yet, but it’s just a matter of time. I am in line for an opportunity to work in IT at a fortune 500 company. It’s a company that a lot of people, especially where I live, would absolutely love to get into. It’s really hard to get a job there. Hell, it’s really hard to get an interview there. It has always seemed from the outside like you need to know someone in order to get an interview or job there. So, it definitely might not work out, but I have been contacted about the position. I looked at the job ad before I spoke with someone about the position, and then I went to look at it after the conversation to check some information in it. The job ad had been removed. So, maybe that is a good sign.

The best part for me, though, is I’d be going back to doing the kind of work I love doing, which is completing repairs on electronics. As far as I know, I will not be dealing with asshole clients. So far, it seems a lot like it will be like my old job, except that it will be at a far more reputable company with far more opportunities. Hopefully, the company’s being nationally and internationally recognized means it is run way better than my previous job was. Trust me, you have heard of this company, especially if you live in the US. I don’t think a company can be what this company is and have a bunch of idiots in charge at my city’s location like my previous job did, but I could be wrong. That and the hours I worked were really my main problems with my previous job, or else I’d still be there. These would be stable, set hours, rather than variable, unstable hours like my previous job expected me to work.

This job is also closer to home than where I work now is.

So far, it seems like exactly what I’ve been looking for–a really good fit.

The job I have now has pretty much never been a good fit. Still, I feel guilty for leaving, which it inevitably seems that I will–and not just in the next few years, but probably within the next few weeks or, at most, the next few months. I know all the reasons why I shouldn’t feel guilty, but I just do. For the most part, I have been treated pretty well there. They just gave me a raise maybe a month ago. I like most of the guys I work with, and I love talking sports with them–this despite the fact that I blog about sports on nearly a daily basis.

For the most part, I just don’t like the actual job. I also can’t get over the poor training I received, and I see it as something that will haunt my “career” as long as I work at this place, i.e. it will keep affecting me and my work there. I also know that I can’t be happy in any job at which I’m not one of the best workers there, and I will never be one of the best workers where I currently work–partially because several people have been there years and years longer and partially because of the poor training I received, but I also didn’t come to the table with a lot of the same type of tech knowledge the people with whom I work have (which was okay with my employer, but it’s a disadvantage, in my opinion). I don’t like constantly feeling unsure of what I’m doing. And dealing with assholes goes without saying.

So, I do think I need to leave. I know this is not at all the job for me.

But I feel guilty because I know this is bad timing. There’s a big project going on, and I know there are a few people trying to take off work in the next couple of weeks. They will also have to hire someone to replace me, and hiring someone and making a smooth transition is not going to take two weeks (i.e. if I give two weeks notice to “help” them, which I’m not sure I’ll be able to give). It didn’t take me two weeks to be ready to perform my job. Plus, they have to find time to “train” the new person, and that will be hard to do in the middle of this big project. Really, my leaving will create extra work for some of the people there, including some of the people I really like and who have helped me a lot, and it might even keep some of them from being able to take time off they’ve already planned or scheduled.

I didn’t feel guilty quitting my last job because I felt I was largely treated like crap and under-appreciated there. Plus, I was one of the best workers there, but because they had so many people there and were always hiring people I was still easily/quickly replaceable. In fact, I haven’t felt guilty about leaving any other position except this one. I know they have had people quit after a relatively short period of time before, which is another source of discomfort for me, but I don’t know if it was poor timing like this.

Tagged , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: