Monthly Archives: August 2012

Feeling Guilty About Leaving My Employer

So, it’s been a while, I know.

No, I haven’t left my job yet, but it’s just a matter of time. I am in line for an opportunity to work in IT at a fortune 500 company. It’s a company that a lot of people, especially where I live, would absolutely love to get into. It’s really hard to get a job there. Hell, it’s really hard to get an interview there. It has always seemed from the outside like you need to know someone in order to get an interview or job there. So, it definitely might not work out, but I have been contacted about the position. I looked at the job ad before I spoke with someone about the position, and then I went to look at it after the conversation to check some information in it. The job ad had been removed. So, maybe that is a good sign.

The best part for me, though, is I’d be going back to doing the kind of work I love doing, which is completing repairs on electronics. As far as I know, I will not be dealing with asshole clients. So far, it seems a lot like it will be like my old job, except that it will be at a far more reputable company with far more opportunities. Hopefully, the company’s being nationally and internationally recognized means it is run way better than my previous job was. Trust me, you have heard of this company, especially if you live in the US. I don’t think a company can be what this company is and have a bunch of idiots in charge at my city’s location like my previous job did, but I could be wrong. That and the hours I worked were really my main problems with my previous job, or else I’d still be there. These would be stable, set hours, rather than variable, unstable hours like my previous job expected me to work.

This job is also closer to home than where I work now is.

So far, it seems like exactly what I’ve been looking for–a really good fit.

The job I have now has pretty much never been a good fit. Still, I feel guilty for leaving, which it inevitably seems that I will–and not just in the next few years, but probably within the next few weeks or, at most, the next few months. I know all the reasons why I shouldn’t feel guilty, but I just do. For the most part, I have been treated pretty well there. They just gave me a raise maybe a month ago. I like most of the guys I work with, and I love talking sports with them–this despite the fact that I blog about sports on nearly a daily basis.

For the most part, I just don’t like the actual job. I also can’t get over the poor training I received, and I see it as something that will haunt my “career” as long as I work at this place, i.e. it will keep affecting me and my work there. I also know that I can’t be happy in any job at which I’m not one of the best workers there, and I will never be one of the best workers where I currently work–partially because several people have been there years and years longer and partially because of the poor training I received, but I also didn’t come to the table with a lot of the same type of tech knowledge the people with whom I work have (which was okay with my employer, but it’s a disadvantage, in my opinion). I don’t like constantly feeling unsure of what I’m doing. And dealing with assholes goes without saying.

So, I do think I need to leave. I know this is not at all the job for me.

But I feel guilty because I know this is bad timing. There’s a big project going on, and I know there are a few people trying to take off work in the next couple of weeks. They will also have to hire someone to replace me, and hiring someone and making a smooth transition is not going to take two weeks (i.e. if I give two weeks notice to “help” them, which I’m not sure I’ll be able to give). It didn’t take me two weeks to be ready to perform my job. Plus, they have to find time to “train” the new person, and that will be hard to do in the middle of this big project. Really, my leaving will create extra work for some of the people there, including some of the people I really like and who have helped me a lot, and it might even keep some of them from being able to take time off they’ve already planned or scheduled.

I didn’t feel guilty quitting my last job because I felt I was largely treated like crap and under-appreciated there. Plus, I was one of the best workers there, but because they had so many people there and were always hiring people I was still easily/quickly replaceable. In fact, I haven’t felt guilty about leaving any other position except this one. I know they have had people quit after a relatively short period of time before, which is another source of discomfort for me, but I don’t know if it was poor timing like this.

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The Customer Service Paradox

There’s a reason why there have been no posts for over a week–I’m thinking about whether or not I want to stick with this blog, and I’m leaning towards no.

I wanted to share something I figured out recently, though.

I’ve been reading a few things about working in tech support and other customer service-oriented jobs this past week. As you probably already know, customer service generally sucks. And I’m talking about when it’s being provided to you. As someone who has worked in support positions and currently works in tech support, I know that providing service sucks for the employee, as well. Well…usually.

See, there are two types of people who are best-suited for public service jobs and endure in those positions for a long, long time. One is the type of person who is seemingly always cheerful and nothing bothers him/her because he/she always has “the right attitude” or “the right response.” There are some people who are like this by nature. I don’t understand them, but they exist.

The other type of person?

The asshole.

Yes, you read that correctly. Assholes and bitches are well-suited for service positions.

Why is this?

Well, some of you are probably the reason why. See, assholes who work in customer service know how to deal with assholes who need service. In short, assholes speak asshole. And, boy, do a lot of assholes need service every day (and don’t be a perv here, haha). If this weren’t the case, assholes wouldn’t cut it in service positions. But as you probably know, there are plenty of assholes out there providing service and not getting fired. Some of them even get raises and promotions.

Also, assholes don’t care what you have to say or how ass-ish you get. So, they’re not going to take anything personally. They’re going to find humor in you, the customer, being an asshole. They’re not going to respond to threats. They’re not going to be pushed around. In short, they won’t be broken by asshole customers. They know how to handle asshole customers, which keeps them able to do their jobs. And if you’re a fairly easy customer, the asshole is not necessarily an asshole with you–he/she is just not particularly friendly, welcoming or inviting. But the asshole gets the job done, so the asshole is safe in his/her position.

My problem is, yes, I’m a bitch–but not when it comes to doing my job. When it comes to my job, I’m about perfection. The fact that a customer is unhappy signals a lack of perfection, even if I’m not the problem. I have a low tolerance for imperfection when it affects me. So, I care too much when one of my employer’s clients is upset. The asshole doesn’t care.

And when I say “asshole,” I say that with admiration. It’s not an insult. I have always wanted to be more like the asshole. But the fact that I’m not–at least not at work–means I’m not cut out to serve people, unless, perhaps, I work for a certain type of company. And my current employer comes close. They do care about the service they provide, but that’s because of its small size and it not being the only game in town. In other words, they have to care. They want employees like me, but they put employees like me in a position to support crap-ass products…which means I have to deal with assholes. And I get being upset about shit not working all the time, but you don’t have to be an ass.

Now, take some crap company like AT&T, for example. AT&T is huge. I mean, it’s just about everywhere. And, for a lot of people, it’s one of very few options for phone or internet. They’re a monopoly. This allows AT&T to not give a shit. This is why they can employ and retain a lot of assholes who also don’t give a shit and who let it show. They know that they will still have a lot of business. But my small employer turns flips over clients. The more the client pays, the more they turn flips and expect us to turn flips. I had a negative experience with that earlier this week. My co-worker, Chatty Cathy, i.e. Miss Piggy–I swear she looks just like her–i.e. the queen of bullshitting her way through the work day, went from standing in the middle of the tech support room running her mouth about absolutely nothing to, in my bitch co-worker’s words, “getting pissy” because I wasn’t moving fast enough for this company with which she’s affiliated. Some damn company that started calling us at 6:30am with shit.

6:30am? Why is anyone working or worried about anything related to work at 6:30am?

Well, service people seem to love to call people “stupid” all the time. Everything and everyone’s stupid to people who provide service. I rarely do this regarding my employer’s clients, which is probably another sign I don’t belong in any service position (instead, everyone’s an ass or a bitch to me). But I’ll tell you about the stupid service person and the stupid customer.

If you whine about customers or your service position all the time and then you say you’ve worked that job for years…you’re a stupid service person. You can say you’re so much smarter than your customers and most of them are stupid, but if you put up with it for 10 or 15 years, what does that make you? At the very least, you’re someone who needs “stupid” people to make you feel better about yourself as opposed to being able to feel good because you advanced out of a low-rung sort of position.

And if you’re that customer–that one who is essentially a regular complainer or the one who threatens to take your business elsewhere, but you keep coming back or you stick with the service–you’re a stupid customer. A stupid, power hungry but powerless, game-playing customer. If you don’t like a service, drop it. If you can’t drop it because there’s nothing better out there, don’t call a low-rung employee who can’t do shit about shit and throw around empty threats. It won’t improve your service.

Even though I can tell my employer wants employees like me, it’s telling who most of my employer’s employees actually are and how long they’ve been there. I work with one star employee, a bitch and two asses. One of the asses is a field technician, so he goes to clients to work on equipment. The star employee takes the least amount of tech support calls because he’s trusted with other stuff at work. And even at a business as small as where I work where quality service matters more, my employer knows the bitch is a bitch and the ass is an ass but nothing is done about it. The bitch has been there, like, 8 or 9 years, and the ass has been there almost 2 years when he definitely should have been fired by now. I suspect they both get raises for reaching certain marks of time for having been with my employer, just as I did when I hit three months there, but neither will advance with my employer–which means clients will keep having to deal with the bitch and the ass.

As for me? Even after the shit with Miss Piggy’s affiliated company, I was called into my supervisor’s office in part to be told that I’m doing a good job at work and that she hears good stuff about me from others. That’s not true, at least not by my standards. I have the attitude to advance at this place, but I don’t want to stick it out long enough for that (I also have seen what advancing there is like–I’d always be on call, and…um, no). I can’t handle sucking by my standards, and I can’t handle assholes (especially when it’s both clients and co-workers, even though only one co-worker bothers me). I have a feeling my supervisor is worried that I’m going to leave, and I think that’s one of the reasons she told me I’m doing a good job.

I am going to leave. Not just because of assholes and my standards, but because tech support is a beginning–not a destination. The least important people in any company deal with the highest number of assholes, and no one has to be the least important person at his/her job for years and years. If that’s the case, that employee’s not doing something right.

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I Blocked My Co-Worker On IM

Another ridiculous day at work. I haven’t even eaten yet today, except for some pretzels that I mindlessly ate while I was mentally preoccupied. I just don’t have the appetite. I feel as if I could go the entire day without eating today. That’s how upset I am. Some people eat more when they’re stressed out; I lose my appetite. I can feel tension starting to creep into my neck, too.

I’m not really pissed about this particular thing anymore, but I’ve gotta tell you about it. My co-worker FTG started some nonsense at work today. She got pissed about yet another stupid, unimportant thing. Because she’s a fucking wimp, she decided to write in one of my tickets.

One thing that finally stuck in my mind today is, at this place where I work, I can’t win for losing. Someone’s always whining about the way a task is carried out, but it seems like so many people have their way of carrying out a task. So, it’s confusing for me. Most people at work say to put related issues in one ticket vs opening a new one, although someone else told me to just open separate tickets. I can’t always tell if an issue is related to another one or not, plus I just don’t always have time to dig through tickets and read them, especially not with what has been going on at work lately.

A client emailed us saying he’d spoken with someone else about an issue. I looked for a ticket that might be related and didn’t really see one. But I saw two tickets in the time frame the client wrote about, so I included both of those tickets, mainly to show that I did look up past tickets. One of those tickets I included was one of FTG’s, and it did have an email address mentioned in the ticket that seemed to also be part of the client’s latest issue. I did not read FTG’s whole ticket. It was more information than I wanted or had time to read. Anyway, because her ticket was the only one that even remotely mentioned anything related to the client’s latest issue–a common email address–I wrote in my ticket that maybe he’d actually spoken with her and not the person he thought he had spoken with. It happens all the time, people not remembering who they spoke with at my job. This particular client has spoken with all of us at some point recently about issues.

Apparently, this pissed FTG off. Yeah. And she kind of went off in the ticket, which I still don’t know why she was looking at one of my tickets anyway.

At the time, this pissed me off for two reasons–1) the ticket is visible to others, and at the time the ticket was assigned to someone else at my job, which means he should have seen what she wrote, and 2) I just don’t see any reason for it. I kind of figured out later that maybe she felt like I was saying she hadn’t handled an issue that someone brought up with her, but still. We all kind of have to clean up after other people there at times, or sometimes one of us will approach an issue in a way that doesn’t help when the next person approaches it in a way that does. That wasn’t my point, though. Like I said, it was more like, “These are the only tickets I see, and this one mentions an address that is in the client’s latest email.” Regardless, to me, it’s unprofessional to go off in tickets or to do anything like that at work essentially in front of other people who work in the environment. Issues between co-workers need to be handled between those two, if at all.

That’s why I didn’t respond back in the ticket and didn’t say anything in a room that included other people–I IMed her. I basically wrote that the same email address was in the client’s latest email to us and her ticket and that this really was not a big enough deal to be going off in tickets. This bitch was still acting crazy on IM, and, ultimately, I reiterated that the way she was responding just was not warranted. And she finally left it alone after that.

Other shit happened after that at work, not related to her, that really just piled on the shitty day and resulted in my coming home, like…”I don’t want to eat today, and I need to find another job.” But at one point during the day, it was like a light bulb went off. I’ve mentioned here before that one of the field tech geeks has said that he blocked FTG on IM because of the way that she’ll IM people going off about nonsense. I decided I need to do the same thing, and I did. If there was a way I could keep her from writing in my tickets, I would do that. But I can limit speaking with her at work. I can stop IMs from her. And I can ignore email from her. I could easily see getting to work tomorrow and her IMing me about this shit from today. I don’t want it, and I don’t want crap like that in the future, like the field tech geek was saying. I’m done, and I am going to do my best to just not have to deal with her at all. I guess we’re supposed to use IM at work as a way to help us communicate with each other, but I’m not interested in the ways she chooses to communicate with me–hardly answering my questions and acting like a bitch in writing about absolutely nothing. I don’t get anything helpful out of that.

Anyways, not too long after what happened with FTG, I went from pissed to just more like thinking this bitch seriously has a mental issue to laughing out loud, shaking my head and thinking, “This bitch seriously has a mental issue.” I probably wasn’t the only one thinking that today, either, because she acted crazy again later by walking away from our supervisor when she was trying to speak with her. Our supervisor was just like WTH.

In general, I’ve never thought I’d ever have a co-worker from hell. But I definitely do now.

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