So, yesterday I broke down “bitches” for you–three general categories of bitches. I know a lot of women get offended by the word “bitch,” especially when someone is referring to another woman as a bitch.
It’s bad when men do it because it’s seen, to some degree, as a form of sexism and disrespect. The assumption there is the individual using the word only refers to women as bitches. I know I call any and everyone a bitch. In fact, one of my earlier posts on this blog was about how men are bitches, too.
It’s bad when women do it because…well…1) “men degrade women enough without women degrading women, too”…and 2) somewhat related to #1, there’s, on occasion, this false idea that women either somehow have some sense of unity, understanding or some such nonsense to/with each other, or should or could, and calling another woman a bitch undermines this.
One of my points in telling you about bitches is that not all bitches are bad, or being a bitch is not always a bad thing. I have had a couple of friends call me a bitch. It was cool–I knew how it was meant. One of my friends and I actually used to joke about being a club of bitches. She’s not as bitchy as she used to be, and I think that’s unfortunate. I would say the same for one of my sisters. Truth is people run over you when you’re not a bitch. Hell, people run over me anyways. Scratch that–women run over me; men are pretty good to me (one of a few reasons why, much to the chagrin of a lot of LGBT people, I must say I kinda wish I were a heterosexual). But you get run over more if you’re not one, especially if you’re a woman.
But there really are some bad bitches out there. Pointing this out doesn’t automatically equate to hating women or thinking ill of all women. Really, there’s only one woman right now about whom I sit around and think, “Whoa, she is a bad bitch.” Or more accurately, I think stuff like “that bitch is a bitch” or “man, I can’t stand that bitch.”
Latest example (there are plenty of others throughout the history of this blog):
So, I know about two or so weeks ago, I wrote about how the afternoon tech geek (ATG) at work told me that the female tech geek (FTG) got in a bit of trouble and has gotten in trouble in the past over how she doesn’t take lunch when she’s supposed to. When she got in trouble the last time, I had the day off. The other times she’s gotten in trouble were before I was hired. Apparently, she has been told multiple times that she needs to go to lunch at a specific time. No one has ever said anything to me about this, but I think the reasons why this matters are because 1) there are certain times of the day when we get the least amount of phone calls, and that’s kind of when it makes sense for us to go to lunch, 2) if someone doesn’t go to lunch on time, it kind of throws everything off and we could end up with a situation in which less people are in the office to receive tech calls but we’re getting a lot of calls and/or emails because of what time it is, and 3) other people who don’t work in tech support but work in our suite will be expecting certain tech geeks to be around at certain times and then they can find that the tech geek isn’t there when needed.
Now, #3 happens all the time because FTG won’t go to lunch on time. We have to go to lunch one after the other–we can’t go at the same time because there has to be at least two tech geeks around in the office. FTG goes first. The last one of us to go to lunch is the most important tech geek in our office. He has worked there longer and, thus, knows more than everyone. So, a lot of people depend on him, and they think he goes to lunch at a certain time. But because of FTG, he often goes to lunch really late–sometimes about a full hour late–and this leaves a lot of people, particularly the owners and our supervisor, looking for him and needing him when he’s not there but should be.
Like I said, no one has had to tell me any of this. It’s as plain as day, and I have worked there just less than four months. FTG has worked there for years, so she should know this. I just think she flatout doesn’t care. It seems not to matter how many times she’s told to go to lunch on time. She just does what she wants to do without regard for anyone else. I mean, besides all the issues I mentioned above…shit, people are just hungry at some point during the day, or–definitely for me–just need a break. Or some people make plans for during lunchtime. But we’re being held hostage because FTG is just doing whatever the fuck she wants to do.
One of my huge “pet peeves” is people doing stuff without regard for others, especially when the effects of what they’re doing are pretty clear. I also have an issue with people repeatedly being told something and just not getting it or just refusing to do so.
This chick has been every day this week with this shit–this going to lunch 30 and 45 minutes later than she’s supposed to. I said to the important tech geek when she left for lunch today that I’d been told we’re supposed to take lunch on a relatively strict time frame, trying to see if he’d confirm this. He didn’t really do that. But by the way that our owners and supervisors act on days when we all go to lunch pretty late, I tend to side with ATG and believe what he said. He just told me that I should say something to FTG when she’s not moving at her lunchtime. I responded that I can’t tell if she’s working on something really important when she goes to lunch late or not, and if she’s working on something then that’s one thing. But sometimes it just seems like she’s not doing anything that essential and is just not going to lunch on time because she doesn’t want to. Like today.
Today, she went to lunch almost 45 minutes late. And she does stuff like…she’ll go to lunch late and then not take her full hour. Unless she’s going to lunch at 45 mins after the hour and coming back in 15-20 minutes, um…cutting her hour short doesn’t do our suite that much good. Coming back 25-30 minutes into my scheduled lunchtime doesn’t help our suite.
The funny thing is after that tech geek and I finished talking about these late lunch breaks, the field tech geek came in and told us about how he and another worker in our suite just saw FTG…they’d tried to be friendly and acknowledge her and she just looked at them and then ignored them. Yep–I can tell. She’s just like, “fuck these people at work” in her mind, even though no one’s really done anything to her, as far as I can tell. She doesn’t give a shit who is inconvenienced or what our supervisor says or who tries to be nice to her or about working together to help clients.
And the field tech was just like, “She’s going to kill all of us.” Because, you know, I wrote a while ago about how the guys at work “joke” about which one of us is going to snap and kill everyone someday. And I wrote it’s probably going to be her. Apparently, I’m not alone in figuring this out. He called her crazy a few days ago. I wholeheartedly agree. And tell you what–I know I’ll be the first one dead. My mother says it’ll be because I’m the only black person there. I just think it’s because it’s increasingly obvious that I don’t care for her. Not good at hiding my feelings–not just at work but in general. The field tech thinks he’s the first one who will die, but I think it makes more sense if it’s me. Given that my life is already in question like that, why on earth would I say anything to her about her needing to go to lunch?
Look, don’t call the cops yet. I still think that because she’s a woman there’s a good chance she’s not going to kill us. Plus, I’ve known virtually my whole life how I will die, and that’s cancer–like nearly everyone else in my mother’s family. I still believe that. If this were a white guy we were talking about who was weird like she is, then I might have quit by now. Or bought a bulletproof vest. (Er, for those who don’t get it, shooting up entire job offices is overwhelmingly a white male crime. Black guys do “simple” stuff like knock off stores, carjack and shoot at apartment complexes. Black women pull out other black women’s weaves over some worthless “man.” White women kill themselves by over-dieting or over-tanning. You get the picture, hopefully.)