Although I have a few reasons to think that my life sucks and two in particular, my biggest reason is–surprise, surprise–my job. And not necessarily even just my job, but everything in terms of my career. I definitely feel that I’m way behind others at my age and/or education level, I don’t make enough money, I’m not where I’d like to be in my career, I have to work more hours than I’d like and just a lot of the typical reasons people have issues with their careers.
I do have to say that I don’t have as much of a reason to complain about, at least, my job as I did, say, two months ago.
That’s because I have a new job…one better in most ways than the job I had before.
There is at least one thing, though.
You see, I work in the information technology field. Because of this, I actually work with very few women. There are a lot of other women where I work, but they are not “IT Professionals”–they hold other positions and have their own offices. My area, which holds all of us so-called IT geeks, is all guys…and one female. Aside from me.
No, the problem is not the guys (well, you could say they are a problem, but not in this post. More on that some other time). The other female might be the problem, though.
You see, when I first started the job, it didn’t take long for me to notice that the guys talked to me and reached out to me more than the female did. The other women where I work are great, too, for the most part, but they are older women…for whatever that’s worth. That’s not to say I feel they don’t mean anything because they’re older. I love interacting with older men and women.
Anyway, with the guys I interact with the most, there are explanations for that. Two sit near me, and another one is actually training me. The female and I do not sit near each other. There are other tech geeks who come in and out and they don’t interact with me much, but they maybe do so more than the female. I generally do not have an issue with people interacting with me or not, meaning I don’t much care if they do or not. So, that’s not that huge of a deal.
I tend to be pretty good at reading people and sensing things and such. The way I have felt so far about the other female is there’s just a tad of either awkwardness or discomfort or tension…not sure which, but something like that.
To me, today was just a weird day of work all around for me. But I’d probably have to say that the weirdest thing was when I got this email from the female coworker about how she’s entitled to take her full lunch hour. Huh?
So, one of the tech geeks says seemingly every other day when this female comes back from lunch, “You’re back already?” Generally, he just seems to lose track of time and is surprised when she comes back because of it. It’s basically as if he feels she is back earlier than she’s supposed to be. Today, I said, directed at him, “It’s after 12,” referring to how it was after noon. The female takes her lunch typically around 11am, maybe a little bit after. No big deal. She did leave a little after 11 today. We get an hour for lunch, and she wasn’t late or anything. So, coming back around noon is about right for her.
Next thing I know, she is checking her timestamp with the woman who works in payroll and sending me this email. As if I’m really going to have a problem with someone taking their full lunch hour. Hell, I stand right outside of my work building and flatout bullschitt, watching the minutes on my iPhone, trying to drag lunch hour out for the whole hour even though I have absolutely nothing to do on my lunch hour. I just don’t want to go back and answer any goddamn phones, because I’ve already had enough of phones to last me a lifetime, thanks to this job.
Hell, one of the tech geeks came back from lunch hour over an hour & 1/2 late one day due to car trouble, and I couldn’t go to lunch until he came back…and another tech geek comes to work every…single…day averaging more than 20 minutes late. I never say anything about these things. Truth be told, I don’t care about these things. I’m too busy schitting a brick about all the dumb, idiotic mistakes I’m making at work as the newbie there and all the dumb, idiotic questions I’m asking at work as the newbie there, i.e. I’m worried about my damn self. Why would I be keeping track of when this chick gets back from her lunch break and be throwing a fit about it?
Good grief, is this just the dumbest schitt ever, or is it just me?
Should I just sit and completely keep my mouth shut from now on, or what? Which is a totally different story, by the way, given that last week my boss would come to our area and keep looking over at me while she and the guys talked…just kind of as if she had some sort of issue with my not participating in the conversations.
Can’t win for losing?
Really, here’s my thing with this email incident, I guess as someone who is, by education, actually supposed to be a psychologist (or lawyer):
I’ve found that when someone appears to get bent out of shape about something that seems stupid or trivial, there’s more to the story. Usually, other stuff has happened and feelings have built up until something dumb causes the confrontation. In other words, now I’m sitting around wondering what the hell else I did to cause this crap.
I have some ideas, including the fact that I am more talkative with the guys. I am more talkative with the guys, though, because, since they reached out to me and because they talk more in general than she does, they have made me feel more comfortable. I also remember saying on my first day at work to one of the tech geeks that I was pretty sure I’d spoken with him several times before starting there because it seemed he was the only one answering the phones. One of the other tech geeks laughed when I said that. But maybe she didn’t appreciate the indirect insinuation that she doesn’t do her job.
Frankly, though, before I started working there, I did kind of have the impression that maybe just one other person worked as a tech geek there during the daytime hours. Now that I work there, it seems everyone does their job and does their job well. I know I shouldn’t have made that statement, but, as I said, I am constantly doing dumb stuff at this place. New people will just do and say dumb things at work–no way around it. I keep trying to tell myself this.
Still, I don’t want any co-worker problems. So, I told myself that I will start trying to be a little nicer to this female. We’re probably not going to end up friends, but I don’t need to treat her differently than I treat others, if I can help it.