Men Are Bitches, Too

I’ve been on my new job all of three weeks, and I’ve mentioned a couple of things I’ve learned in that short period of time–that hands-on tech work is more my thing and that I don’t like or want to work.

Well, I’ve neglected to fill you in on another learning point, this one more of a nugget of life that we all can benefit from knowing.

Er…men are bitches, too, y’all.

That’s right–it’s not just women. I know what you thought. You were wrong. And so was I.

See, I think a lot of us–especially those of us who are women–already realized that men can act in certain ways and women can act in similar ways, but only women will get called bitches or have that behavior labeled as negative. One thing men as a whole–not necessarily all individual men–do is demand their way. I’m almost positive you’ve seen this in public, maybe at a checkout counter in a store where some guy is thoroughly unhappy about something or another related to a purchase. I’ve seen women demand their way, too, but I think being demanding is more accepted in men than in women and the woman doing it is going to be labeled negatively.

Although I will say that whenever I’m with my father and he is speaking loudly about whatever some poor customer service representative has done–or, really, hasn’t done (because, having worked in customer service, I know that customer service reps have very little power to do anything and usually aren’t responsible for whatever a whiner is whining about)–I get embarrassed…because there are generally two types of women–ones who don’t see why they shouldn’t demand their way and ones who still have internalized that it’s rude, embarrassing, semi-childish and/or a sign of entitlement to demand their way. I am among the latter type, although I am not saying people who demand their way are wrong to do so. Sometimes it’s necessary, but sometimes it’s a matter of how you’re speaking to someone (and I also think sometimes it’s a matter of recognizing that you’re not demanding your way to the right person, i.e. when you’re dealing with customer service reps, i.e. you shouldn’t even be demanding your way at the moment). Men, by and large, appear to have very little problem demanding their way, regardless.

Anyway, I think we all kind of have seen what I’m talking about.

What I have never seen, which now has made me see very clearly just how bitchy men can be, is what guys at my job do.

Now, look–I complain a lot on my blog, and I will continue to do so. I love to complain. I think it’s cathartic. I know most people don’t value complaining, but, I assure you, I will not be dying of a heart attack or stroke any time soon because I find ways to let it all out. I also look hella-young for my age, and I think complaining has a lot to do with that. ;)

These dudes? They will complain about any and everything, to the point where I’m sitting around going “Really???” They’ve got the queen of complaining going “really?”

Examples:

1) Do not mention Apple products around these guys. EVER. Please. They make me scared to show up to work with my iPhone for fear that they spend my entire lunch break ripping me to shreds in the office, and I refuse to show up with my iPad because I know they will have something to say. They are snob…city about Apple products. They and Apple fanboys would physically throw down. It’s amazing that they manage to contain their pure Apple hatred when they are assisting our clients who have Apple products. But I promise you, each and every single one of those Apple product owners will be roasted behind his/her back immediately after the assistance is complete. Just substitute crap like another chick’s hair, clothes, makeup and reputation, and you have women.

And this has very little to do with the quality of the products. As I said, I am the hardware person. The best mp3 player I’ve ever used is the iPod Touch, and the best cell phone I’ve ever used is the iPhone. I will not hesitate to say that I think their laptops are garbage, though, and that PCs are superior in several (though not all) ways.

2) Speaking of the roast after the assistance…these dudes could have acting careers. They are that good at being fake with clients. When I spend time thinking about this, it makes me wonder what they really think about me, because they treat me very well. The more I listen to the A+ way they interact with clients and the more I listen to how they talk about the same clients before and after assisting them, the more I hope I never walk into the office at some awkward wrong time. If “smiling in your face, talking behind your back” isn’t good old-fashioned bitchiness, I don’t know what is.

Of course, two of these dudes would remind me of stereotypical gay men if they gave off a little bit more of a gay vibe outside of just their more in-your-face, cuts-like-a-knife style of bitchiness. Yeah, I try not to talk to them. Ironically, the guy who actually is gay is scared to death of people and hides in the area where the servers are all the time.

And then there is, of course, the office gossip. Yep, a [straight] guy.

3) Do not be a customer who calls in needing tech help on a regular basis. Apparently, using the service for which your company pays somehow makes a tech geek’s job a complete nightmare. If you call in or email a couple of times a week with the kinds of questions that they could probably handle in their sleep because they handle them so often, this is cause for these dudes to start talking about how they hate you, hate all people and are so stressed out that they need to go get drunk. Yeah…drama queens kings are bitches, in my book.

Oh, and I have been “warned” that I will become the same way, because this job is soooo horrid, thanks to the clients. No, dears–the job is boring me to tears, but I have seen and experienced horrid. This ain’t it. Try working in a hotel that is a complete dump and having to deal with every other guest rightfully complaining about it but always to you, never to the cheap-ass manager who is responsible for it being a dump. Try working somewhere you have to call the police out several times because random guys are showing you their penis, people’s cars are being broken into, people are getting shot next door, homeless guys keep sneaking into rooms and prostitutes have guys coming and going on a regular basis…oh, and you’re the only one working at the hotel when this stuff is happening. And try that only being #2 on your list of jobs you’ve hated the most.

4) Do not be that person who thinks Internet Explorer is “the internet” or who thinks all you have to do is start up your computer and never have to do anything special to connect to the internet. You can apologize all you want for your lack of basic knowledge, but you will be the butt of office jokes for years to come. Honestly, I can’t even begin to understand how it is that people do not know what version their operating system is or why anyone would want to use Microsoft Outlook to the point of calling me to help them get it working (it’s just so 90s-early 2000s to me, not to mention very blah-looking). But some people are good writers, some people are good builders.

While I think judging people is very necessary in society and I have no shame about the fact that I’m judgmental, I can definitely see how a lot of people can be technologically challenged–especially people over the age of 40 or so, or people who grew up without much tech access. In my opinion, the kinds of people best suited to work in tech support are people who are okay with the fact that a lot of people don’t know schitt that is practically common sense to them and a lot of people have different tech tastes.

This last one might be less of a function of being bitchy and more of a function of being highly intelligent or nerdy, because a lot of very intelligent people are at least a little bit highfalutin’ about their brain cells or a lack of brain cells in others. At the same time, it could go back to how I started this post, i.e. talking about things men do that you could call bitchy but they get away with. I think a lot of men associate intelligence with masculinity and, thus, show off, condescend to or flatout put down other people intellectually or verbally to prove their own intelligence/manhood. They do this to women a lot, and while they might especially do this to women they don’t only do it to women. But a lot of very intelligent women do it, too.

Either way, it’s bitchy bullschitt.

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One thought on “Men Are Bitches, Too

  1. […] Another thing I’ve read is that employers should set expectations for you and let you know what those expectations are. I realized last night that one of my issues with how things are going is that I don’t know where I should be right now in terms of readiness to do my job  or where I’m expected to be. I believe that the key people at my job think that not setting a firm “you should be able to do this by week 3″ or “you should know this by week 4″ shows their understanding that different people learn at different rates and that there’s not a lot of pressure to be up to speed. But I know there is a point when not being up to speed will be a problem, and an estimate of when that point would be is more helpful than wanting to appear flexible. I have been told by a few people that I’m doing fine, but I have not been told this by any of the people who matter the most and who I’m sure have been communicating with my trainer about my performance. My trainer has told me I’m doing fine. But I also feel that I need to take most things any of the tech geeks say with a grain of salt because of how fake they can be. […]

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